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Now that he knew, I was afraid he would look at me like a broken person and it angered me.
The rage I felt faded a few days after he left, leaving behind emptiness and regret. It had been two weeks since I’d seen him and my heart continued to grow more lonely with each passing moment. Any time something happened in my life, funny or dramatic, I wished I hadn’t sent him away. Zell would have laughed with me, comforted me, or been mad when I was.
He may have owned my soul, but somehow his soul ended up belonging to me. It hurt knowing I had returned it with swift and angry actions.
“The place is locked up. Do you want me to wait for you?” Tonzo asked as he did every night I worked.
“I’ll be good.” I smiled. It was easy for me to pretend to be happy, even though on the inside, I was shattered. My life was like a piece of broken glass with shards and slivers scattered throughout my pitiful existence.
After Tonzo left, I continued closing the bar, my thoughts on Zell and how happy my life would be if he was still here as I cleaned and stocked.
It wasn’t like we could have kids or buy a house together since he lived in another realm . . . and he was a demon. But just being with him daily made me feel seen. He compelled me to think I was a person worthy of being in this world. He liked me for who I was, even when I snorted at something really funny. Or when I left the toothpaste cap off. I’d purposely ruined every mission we had to acquire souls, and he could have stopped me if he wanted to, but he didn’t. He loved my empathy and the compassion I had for people who were just down on their luck.
Why did he have to see the horrible things that happened to me? And why did I send him away for it? We could have talked it out. Maybe if I—.
“What are you thinking?” Zell asked, the sound of his voice making my eyes dart to where he had magically appeared at the bar.
I sucked in a hard breath, my heart racing when I saw the entire bar top covered in lilies. They were my favorite flower and he had remembered. “What . . . what are you doing here?”
Only a square foot in front of him was clear of the flowers. He propped his elbows on it, a sad look on his face. “I wanted to check up on you and make sure you were faring well.”
My eyes locked on his beautiful icy blue ones, pain settling in my chest. “I miss you,” I confessed, emotions flooding through me.
“I miss you too.” Zell picked my hand up and kissed the back of it. When he let go, a scroll appeared on the bar top. He let out a deep breath. “This is your proof that I had the king terminate our contract. Make sure you read it all. Most humans just glance at it.”
I picked up the magical paper and read it through tear-filled eyes. When I got to the last line, I gasped. “What did you do?”
“I gave away some of my powers for you. It was the only way to end the contract.”
“Why would you do that?”
“I wanted you to be secure in knowing your privacy would never be invaded again. If I couldn’t search your memories, then maybe you would take me back.”
“Take you back? But you said the contract—”
“Yes, the contract is broken, but I meant, takemeback.” His eyes glistened as he took a deep breath before picking up a lily. He was in deep thought as he rolled the stem between his fingers. “During the three months we spent together, you slowly changed me for the better. I want nothing more than to be with you, Kavari.”
“I don’t understand. With the contract broken, you have no reason to see me.”
“I talked to Baharet, the King of Hellikan, and he said he would be honored to have me as a Harvester. King Avaress agreed and said I could still live in Abaddon, but do King Baharet’s bidding.” He glanced away, regret filling his eyes. He let out another sigh before his gaze came back to me. “There was one condition. Queen Astrid said I shouldn’t be allowed to search your memories anymore since I betrayed you. And I technically broke our laws since we aren’t supposed to look at anything prior to the age of eighteen. I agreed that what I did was beyond dishonorable. The king revoked my ability to look into your past. I’m only allowed to see memories of anyone’s soul I’m trying to acquire. I also can’t hear your thoughts anymore.”
I had no idea who half the people he was naming were, but I would ask those questions later.
“What does that mean for us?” I inquired, wondering how the hell I could date a demon. Was I willing to give up a real life I could potentially have someday for a part-time life with a man from another world?
“It means we can do exactly what you want to do. We can collect souls of murderers and rapists.”
“Really?” Pure excitement filled me, knowing I had the chance to help collect the souls of true villains.
“That is, if you’ll have me. Since the contract has been nullified, you have no obligation.”
I took a deep breath, trying to clear my mind.
Zell pushed my hair behind my ear before laying his hand upon my cheek. “I’m extremely sorry for what I did,” he said in a low, gravelly voice, his thumb rubbing back and forth. “I know I betrayed your trust and it’s something you despise in people. Your happiness is all that matters to me now. If you want me to burn for eternity in Hellikan for my crimes, then say the word.”
Of course, I didn’t want him to burn because I loved him, I realized. I blinked, tears escaping my eyes. He wiped them away before his hand dropped.
“Those tears are something I never wished I caused, little honey bee. I can’t take back my abhorrent actions, but I can prove that I’m a better demon because of you. You showed me compassion and understanding. You taught me what it’s like to have a good soul. I want that. I wish for a soul as pure and sweet as yours. I wish foryou.” He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “I was betrayed too, you know?”
