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Like going out with a boy and just being a regular girl on her first date with him. It wasn’t my first date. I’d gone out with other guys who’d either thought they could deal with my muteness or saw me as a challenge.
Stop. Stop. Stop!
I signed emphatically into the mirror before me where I was checking out my outfit of black skinny jeans and a red blouse, cut to be worn untucked. The sleeves were rolled to mid-forearm with chunky bracelets around one wrist. My hair with subdued red highlights hung in a straight silky curtain to my waist, and my green eyes were highlight with a tawny kohl. The rest of my makeup was equally subdued and natural. Just the girl next door.
I jumped at the buzz from the front door. Rushing out, I checked the camera—that the management had installed for this unit since I couldn’t verbally check who was there.
Hudson.
He looked a lot like last night. Casual. Mouthwatering. He gnawed on the side of his lip, looking a little nervous while he studied the panel with the call buttons. I smiled, and buzzed him in.
Opening the door, I leaned against the doorframe and watched him jog up the steps to my second floor apartment. Like me, he wore an untucked cotton button down, his white with pale taupe stripes, but he had on well worn jeans over boots.
He slowed when he saw me, watching him with a smile.
“Hi. God, you’re beautiful. I mean… Hi. Are you ready?”
I sighedthank youand motioned for him to come inside. I held open the door for him to enter.
“Are you allergic to flowers?” he asked while he stood in the entryway as I grabbed my purse.
No, I signed.
“Good. I’ll be right back. Buzz me back in?”
I nodded, then waited, confused, while he ran out then came back in. He handed me a bunch of flowers. An unusual lavender and white mix of roses and wildflowers.
Thank you, I told him.
“You’re welcome.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I got halfway here then got worried that maybe you were allergic. I stuck them in the trunk—never tell my sister I did that with one of her precious arrangements. She’d kill me.”
I made a zipped lip motion and winked at him. He followed me into the kitchen where I pulled out a vase and put the flowers in water.
They’re beautiful, I told him.
“I’ll let Jenson know—that’s my sister. We call her Jennie. Or Jen.”
I nodded, realizing he was filling the space, trying hard not to be uncomfortable with my silence. I wished I could talk aloud to him. Holding up a finger, I signaled for him to wait. I dug in my purse and pulled out a pad of paper.
Do you have a big family?
I slid the notebook toward him.
“Yeah. Massive. There’s four of us kids in my family and just on my dad’s side, I have ten cousins. I guess that doesn’t seem like that many but when we all get together, it’s madness. Plus my brother is married. And my sister—Jen—has two kids. But she’s divorced.”
He took a deep breath. “And there I go again.”
I like it, I signed.
“That’s good. As a bartender, I’m used to listening to people, but for some reason I just started word vomiting around you. Jesus.” He scrubbed his face. “Forget I said that.”
Coming around the counter, I grabbed my purse and shoved the beat up notebook inside it. I touched his arm and smiled up at him, letting him know it was okay. To tell the truth, everything about Hudson, from his chatter to his frustration with himself and being unsure how to act around me, rang with him being genuine.
I appreciated that more than I could ever tell him. Losing my ability to speak, along with everything I’d held dear, in middle school, right at the cusp of being a teen, had stolen all normalcy from me in so many ways. And when it came guys… Most saw me as either a challenge or a charity case. Both soon found they couldn’t deal with—or didn’t want to. On the other hand, I’d dated men who were deaf mute. That never lasted, either. The fact Imightbe able to speak again someday was a deal breaker—maybe a strike to their egos. I didn’t know.
Hudson made me think that maybe I’d just had a terrible dating pool. Not everyone was like those I’d known. Hudson wasn’t.
Four
