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“Dad.” His father looked up from his place somewhat startled but quickly composed himself and nodded in acknowledgment. “I’d like to go back to work. I know I haven’t been around for a very long time, and I can understand if my timing is way off, but I wanted you to know I’m ready and available to help out, if you needed me to.”
His father just cleared his throat and glanced at Lucas, then Debbie.
“Logan, you don’t have to force yourself. If this is about money, I’m happy to…”
Logan could feel his face burning. He chanced a look at Lucas, who was drilling holes in his plate, refusing to meet his eyes. His mother got up to clear her plate, and suddenly he felt like he wasn’t the one that had been pushing them away this whole time. He wanted to laugh at his own stupidity. Apparently, no one in the Steward household had been holding their breath for Logan to come back from the dead.
“I don’t need money. I just want to get back to work. That’s all. I can understand if you’ve got nothing for me right now. But I was hoping in the future…” his voice trailed off, as he was suddenly unsure why the room had gone so terribly quiet.
Tom didn’t answer him right away, but when he did, Logan wished he had simply said nothing at all, instead of mumbling, “I’m glad you understand,” without so much as looking at him.
That was all he was willing to give him. His father got up and left the room and he was alone with Lucas, who looked like he was hoping the floor would open beneath him and swallow him whole.
“Why?” he heard himself ask quietly.
“He doesn’t want to risk it. You possibly hurting yourself, Mom losing her shit over it, and the business suffering. Mom begged Dad not to put you in situations where you might harm yourself or hurt others whether by accident or––”
“Don’t finish that sentence!” He slapped his hand on the table hard enough to startle his brother. Lucas flinched in his seat. Logan took a deep breath that did nothing to calm him, but still he tried his best to rein in his voice. “Mom may be sick with worry, but you know me better than that, don’t you? And what does the business have to do with what happened to me?”
Lucas looked up and said, his voice trembling, “People know us. They know everything. Dad doesn’t want your personal life getting in the way of work. He doesn’t want people to stop hiring us, because we have someone unstable and not really accountable for their actions running things.”
Logan was so stunned that he huffed a laugh. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”
Lucas kept looking at him. Clearly, that was all his bravery for tonight. He shook his head at his brother, then clicked his tongue at Morpheus, and left the room. He didn’t bother saying goodbye to his mother, as suddenly her behavior in the past few months had turned from overbearing to simply invasive and manipulative.
The awful visit at the doctor’s office came to his mind and he cringed at the memory.
He was grateful, that some tiny part of him may had foreseen this, and he had asked Dave to give him one of his rentals for the night.
All the way home, he was waiting for the rage to come and barrel through his body like a hurricane. The betrayal stung him deep, but rather than rage at this unfair, very undignified treatment, all he felt was sadness and disappointment.
The first time his father had taken him to a jobsite, he had barely been thirteen. At the time he had felt ridiculously proud to be like his old man. His father had been the one to convince him he didn’t need to go to college, because his future at the company was secure.
“We’re a family and always stick together. Why would you want to waste your time in college when you already have a job?”
His father had supported him when he had stuck to his guns in wanting to marry Sophy, but now he truly saw his support for what it was – another way to tie him to the business. Having a family and needing to support and provide for them, would simply mean he would have to continue his work at the family company. Logan had wanted to go to college with Sophy, but his father had made it clear he was needed at home, and he had responsibilities to his family. So he stayed back, waiting for Sophy to return to him. No wonder she had been his whole world, his sanctuary.
Suddenly, he was happy he had kept Sammy to himself. His parents didn’t deserve to know anything about the wonderful man in his life.
* * *
CHRISTMAS
Sammy had been able to safely get there, just before the roads closed after another heavy snowfall. Being tucked away in their winter fairy tale was bittersweet as they were both on their own. No happy family gatherings awaited them. That didn’t seem to bother them all that much. In fact, as the weather deteriorated, it only reminded Logan of the night he had met Sammy and his life had changed for the better.
He didn’t care much for decorating, and he was relieved when Sammy admitted to not giving a shit about it either. The admission had led Sammy to open up about his own childhood and his complicated relationship with his parents.
“My parents didn’t really care about Christmas, but they always went above and beyond throwing these elaborate Christmas parties, that were filled with work connections, business partners - people that could potentially be useful to them. They were social climbing the shit out of the holidays. Me and my sister were paraded about and then sent to our rooms. On the actual Christmas morning, it was business as usual.”
“Don’t tell me, there were no gifts?” Logan had looked at him incredulously.
“Well then, I won’t.” Sammy had laughed about it, but Logan felt so bad for him. “I honestly didn’t care all too much. It was one of the few days of the year when they would leave me alone to do whatever I liked. My first proper Christmas was with James, the year I moved out of my parent’s house. His dads are crazy about Christmas, and they took us to New York for the entire month of December.”
“Is that when you decided you wanted to go to Pratt and study photography?”
Sammy chuckled. “Yep. It’s when my emancipation paperwork was completed, and my parents had been notified. My sister called me on Christmas Eve to tell me they had removed me from their will and had forbidden her from talking to me.”
“I’m so sorry, babe.”
