AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Finally, I muster the strength to pull away. “I have to go,” I say, my voice cracking.
Shana nods. “I know,” she replies softly. She smiles through her tears and reaches up to touch my face.
With one last kiss, I turn and walk away, my heart heavy.
6
Real life
Shana
My finger hovers over Lucas’s name on my phone. It’s late on a Thursday and I’m restless, missing him. I want to call just to hear his voice, but he’s probably out with the team. Again.
With a sigh, I set my phone aside. Ever since the preseason started, it feels like Lucas and I have been drifting apart. Our nightly talks have grown shorter and less frequent, our weekend visits sparse.
When we do talk, it’s rushed. Our conversations often interrupted. I scroll nostalgically through photos of us at the beach, longing for that carefree bliss.
* * *
On Saturday, I impulsively buy tickets to go see Lucas’s upcoming away game in LA. My decision is unplanned. I want to get there the night before - maybe being together again is what we need.
But when I call Lucas to tell him my plans, he lets out a frustrated breath. “Babe, you know I gotta rest up the night before the game.”
My heart crumbles. “Oh…okay. Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry, I didn’t think.”
I find an excuse to end the painful conversation, then let the tears fall down my face. The distance has worn us down. Now even my attempt at romance is an inconvenience to Lucas. I was a fool to believe this could work. A sexy, professional young athlete with money, fame and a string of puck bunnies at his feet. Why would he complicate his life with an older woman who doesn’t even live in his city? I shake my head, wiping at my face. It was just a few days of fun and amazing sex. How did this boy sneak his way into my heart? Damn him!
Lucas
“Heads up!” my best friend and teammate Toby shouts. I snap out of my daze just in time to catch his pass, narrowly avoiding a puck to the face during warm-ups.
“Yo, break’s over, fucker. Wake up!” Toby yells.
I shake my head, trying to get focused. But my mind is back in San Francisco with Shana. Ever since I shot down her surprise visit, she’s been distant, her texts short and strained. I fucked up bad.
After the game, I don’t even go out to party with the guys. I hole myself up in my hotel room to call her. Shit goes straight to voicemail. Spreading out on the bed, I close my eyes.
How did we go from the fucking best time of my life to this fucking headache? The season is slowly choking the life out of us.
Part of me wonders if Shana’s ready to move on. Feeling tired of my shit, neglected. I picture some fucking suit charming her over fancy drinks and my gut twists.
No, I can’t fucking lose her! We just have to get through playoffs, then I can make things right. I know we can be us again, if we just hold on a little longer.
I text Shana: Please don’t give up on us. Only one month till off-season. I miss you so much.
My heart pounds waiting for her reply…
7
Reunited
Shana
I stare at Lucas’s text, reading it over and over. He misses me. He doesn’t want to give up. A part of me is relieved - I’m not ready to let go either. But my doubts still linger.
I think back to our effortless connection at the beach. The way he looked at me, like I was the sexiest, most fascinating woman he’d ever met. How he touched me with such passion and tenderness. How he could go for hours fucking me. How he didn’t seem able to go hours without seeing me, touching me.
I want those amazing feelings back. The insanely good sex, his adulation, the laughter, all the joy we shared. I can’t accept that’s gone.
