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I mean, I get it since he had to get Pat home and settled, but Olive would be home around 11:00 so that meant Mav would be watching him at her place and then going home once she got there. It would’ve been late, but I was ready and willing to either hang out with the boys or wait for him at his house until Olive got home.
But, I didn’t want to bring up having a slumber party in front of my whole family. They never would’ve let me live it down. Sure, they would’ve razzed us if Maverick mentioned it, but if I were the one to ask, I’m sure my sisters would pull their dramatics about taking me to see a doctor because there’s no way I would ever be that bold.
It’s Sunday, and since I spent basically my whole Saturday gone, I had a slew of things to take care of at home before starting another chaotic week with my pipsqueaks. I realize that all of the excitement with Mav has had me abandoning my routines the last few weeks. I suddenly feel unsettled, and I can’t tell if it’s because I’ve been so happy and wrapped up with Maverick that I didn’t even notice, or if it’s because I feel a little loss of control, and control has always been my best friend.
We all had a different way of how we handled our mother’s death, but for me, being able to control things and set up routines was key. It was also super helpful for my dad who was grieving the love of his life while trying to run a business and raise his three daughters. Taking over certain duties like grocery shopping, dinner, packing school lunches, and keeping all of our schedules straight was a form of therapy for me.
Ever since then, I’ve thrived on schedules and being overly organized. Routines bring me peace and help ground me, but surprisingly enough, I don’t feel like I’m spinning out of control like I have in the past when I deviate from my routines. Well, I suppose that’s not entirely true. I don’t feel like I’m spinning out of control per say, but maybe like I’m finally actually living.
Looking back at my relationship with Brant, we really were just best friends who occasionally had mediocre sex. We were both people who liked structure and organization, and never really deviated from our routines. There was no passion between us, just complacency.
At the time, I couldn’t understand how he could tell me that he couldn’t stop the course he was on with Jasmine until I fully fell into Maverick’s orbit. Although, I never would’ve cheated on him. I would’ve ended the relationship because I valued our friendship.
I texted Maverick this morning, but haven’t heard from him yet, but I know he had to go to The Tavern today to do inventory and to check on a few of the beers that they were currently brewing. I’m especially excited to try their pumpkin beer. Seasonal beers are my favorite, and so far, I’ve loved all of the ones The Tavern has made.
I decide that even though I’m happier than I can remember, I am missing a few of my routines, especially the ones that make my life easier during the week with school. I carefully go through my kitchen to come up with my grocery list so that I can spend the afternoon meal prepping for the week.
It’s also been a minute since I’ve done my full house cleaning, so I decide instead of going to do the grocery shopping, I’m just going to use the delivery service and have them brought straight to the house. That will give me plenty of time to get the house clean, meal prep, and then work on getting a few crafts and science experiments ready for the week.
My Pinterest board is filled with so many ideas for things to do with my kiddos. I’ve done a few different science experiments in the past, but I’m thinking if I can get approval to use the cafeteria, I may teach the kids about baking cookies. I found a few very fascinating YouTube videos that I think the kids will love.
Hopefully Aileen won’t give me any issues. She hasn’t come right out and said anything about Mav or anything derogatory to me lately about him, but she’s also dropped all pretenses of being nice to me. Glares and whispered words are now my norm around her. Thankfully, the other staff have finally come around and treated me like they had before the breakup. It makes going to the staff room for lunch a whole lot better.
I almost feel bad for Jasmine because she looks more miserable every time I see her in the break room. I can’t tell if it’s from the constant mutterings from Aileen accompanied by the glares, or because unfortunately for her, she’s the other woman and some of my coworkers have taken “my side.” Either way, I wish we had a chance to clear the air, but I feel like too much time has passed since then to say anything now.
After turning on some music, I set out on getting my house clean. I set up my grocery delivery for the afternoon so that I won’t be interrupted and lose my groove. I get so lost in what I was doing that I jump like a frightened cat when the doorbell rings. I put the groceries away and decide I need some sustenance to get the rest of my chores done.
I heard my phone go off a few times while I was cleaning, but I ignored it in order to keep up my momentum. I have to admit that I was extremely disappointed when I realized Maverick hadn’t text me back. I’m sure nothing was wrong, but this hasn’t been the norm since we’ve gotten together. Trying not to make too much out of it, I put my phone back down to enjoy my lunch so that I can get my meal prep done for the week.
It isn’t until dinner time that I finally hear from Maverick. He apparently forgot his phone at home and got so caught up with the brewing process with Gage that he didn’t even realize it until he couldn’t find it when he went to head out. I feel a little better, but my wounded heart is trying to tell me I made a mistake. I don’t like this feeling. I hate the worry and the doubt. This is when I feel out of control. Maybe another reason Brant and I were together so long was because he was predictable. Maverick isn’t and never will be.
Instead of going on a downward spiral which may or may not lead to a panic attack, I decide to pour a glass of wine and text my sisters. I’m really surprised that neither of them have really said anything to me today about the cookout.
Spencer:How am I the first one reaching out after bringing Mav to his first family cookout?
Chayse:Oh, thank fuck. Cash told me he’d withhold sex if I didn’t give you a day to breathe or reach out on your own before I went “full on Chayse” with you.
I can’t help but laugh at Chayse’s message. I can see her pouting and moping all day. If there’s one thing my sister hates, it’s not getting her way and Cash withholding sex is genius level blackmail.
Spencer:Tell Cash he’s officially my favorite.
Chayse:I resent that, but he loved it. So, I’m just going to get right to the chase (HA!), I’m totally team Mav. Even though Brant technically wasn’t a bad guy until he decided to stick his dick where it didn’t belong, he was such a bore, and you were a little but of a stick in the mud as well.
Spencer:Hey! I was not.
Emerson: Um, I hate encouraging Chayse because then she’ll be insufferable, but she does kind of have a point. I wouldn’t call you a stick in the mud, but you were definitely more reserved. You acted like yourself, but more guarded and never let yourself be in the spotlight.
Emerson:With Maverick there, you were totally at ease and more yourself than I’ve ever seen you with a man in my life.
Chayse:What she said. Hey, not to get off topic, but why didn’t you text her Em?
Emerson:I was holding out to see how long you would last for one. I was also doing a favor for a friend and helping them at the shop for most of the day.
Chayse:Brat! Who were you helping?
Emerson:I told you, a friend. You don’t know them.
Chayse:Hmmm, what aren’t you telling us baby sis?
