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“He did?” Her voice was thick, hoarse.
“He did.”
Her eyes closed, and damn, I wished I could ease the pain I saw skittering across her pale, tight features.
But I knew I couldn’t.
“I want to be close enough to intervene in case you have a nightmare,” I continued, which was true. So was the fact that I was worried it may be too cold for her. “If you scream…”
Poppy exhaled slowly.
“So, please, relax and try to rest. We have a hard day ahead of us tomorrow if we have any hope of not being forced to spend two nights in the Blood Forest.”
She was quiet as she eyed me. So, I stayed that way, too. She didn’t know I’d fallen asleep beside her before. Having someone of the opposite sex sleeping beside her wasn’t something she’d experienced.
But she kept staring at me.
My lips twitched. “Go to sleep, Poppy.”
The exhale she let out was impressive, as was how she dropped her cheek back to the sack she used as a pillow. I sort of wondered if she’d hurt herself.
Silence fell between us, but I knew she didn’t sleep. Her shivering and the constant little movements gave her away. It was like being with her on Setti once more.
“This is wildly inappropriate,” she muttered.
I chuckled, always amused by what she found inappropriate compared to what she willingly engaged in. “More inappropriate than you masquerading as a wholly different kind of maid at the Red Pearl?”
She went silent.
“Or more inappropriate than the night of the Rite, when you let me—”
“Shut up,” she hissed.
“I’m not done yet.” I inched closer to her. “What about sneaking off to fight the Craven on the Rise? Or that diary—?”
“I get your point, Hawke. Can you stop talking now?”
I grinned at the back of her head. “You’re the one who started this.”
“Actually, no, I did not.”
“What?” I laughed. “You said, and I quote, ‘This is wildly, grossly, irrefutably…’”
“Did you just learn what an adverb is today?” she asked. “Because that is not what I said.”
“Sorry.” I wasn’t sorry. “I didn’t realize we were back to pretending we hadn’t done all those other inappropriate things. Not that I’m surprised. After all, you’re a pure, untainted, and untouched Maiden. The Chosen. Who’s saving herself for a Royal husband,” I went on. “Who, by the way, will not be pure, untainted, or untouched—”
Poppy attempted to hit me but only managed to uncover half of herself.
I laughed.
“I hate you.” She tugged the blanket back to her chin.
“See, that’s the problem. You don’t hate me.”
Poppy couldn’t deny that.
“You know what I think?” I said.
“No. And I don’t want to know.”
Of course, that was a lie. “You like me.”
Again, Poppy couldn’t deny that.
“Enough to be wildly inappropriate with me,” I pointed out. “On multiple occasions.”
“Good gods, I’d rather freeze to death at this point.”
I grinned at her snippiness. “Oh, right. We’re pretending none of that happened. I keep forgetting.”
“Just because I don’t bring it up every five minutes doesn’t mean I’m pretending it didn’t happen.”
“But bringing it up every five minutes is so much fun.”
Poppy jerked up the edge of her blanket, but I caught the small grin before her mouth disappeared beneath it.
“I’m not pretending none of that stuff happened,” she said after a few moments. “It’s just that…”
“That it shouldn’t have happened?” I asked, no longer teasing. What did she think about what had happened under the willow? I didn’t need to know, but I wanted to know.
“It’s just that I’m not supposed to…do any of that,” she said finally. “You know that. I am the Maiden.”
But that wasn’t who she was. “And how do you really feel about that, Poppy?”
She was quiet for so long, I didn’t think she’d answer. “I don’t want it. I don’t want to be given to the gods.” The moment she spoke, the rest came out in a rush that sounded almost painful. “And then, after that, if there is an after part, I don’t want to be married off to someone I’ve never met, who will probably…”
“Probably what?” I asked softly.
“Who will probably be…” Poppy sighed. “You know how Royals are. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and flaws, well, they are unacceptable. If I end up as an Ascended, I’m sure whoever the Queen pairs me with will be the same.”
I had to take a deep breath because I feared I may start cursing. Loudly. I hated the Ascended for a lot of reasons, but this? How they’d made Poppy feel as if she were flawed? Someone to be ashamed of? This had moved to the top of the reasons to hate them.
“Duke Teerman was a cunt,” I bit out. “And I’m glad he’s dead.”
Her laugh was forceful but quick. “Oh, gods, that was loud.”
I smiled, uncaring if her laugh drew a horde of Craven. “It’s okay.”
