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“Slow down.” I can’t help but laugh. “Everything is chill. Don’t worry your pretty little head. I’m good, fabulous actually, thank you very much.”
Kaye drops her voice to an urgent whisper. “Seriously, Barbi, where the hell are you? Are you with—Alec?”
THIRTEEN
Barbi
I suppressa laugh at the way Kaye huffs on the other end of the line.
“I am.”
“And like…” She trails off expectantly. “Are you coming home soon? Are we talking a weekend fling? Is this going to be a weekend fuck-a-thon? Or are you eloping and never coming back?”
“It’s not a weekend fuck-a-thon, and we’re not eloping.” I roll my eyes for dramatic effect.
Alec chokes on his drink and his eyebrows rocket up his forehead.
“He took me for a hike yesterday and today we’re driving to Sequoia National Park.” I fill Kaye in on our plans, which is what I should’ve done before I left the house.
“Excuse me? You’re going where?” Kaye doesn’t believe me.
“We’re going camping,” I answer nonchalantly, but only because I know she’s not going to believe me.
“You?”
“Me.” I nod, then realize she can’t see me. That’s okay. I don’t want her to see the huge grin on my face.
“Youare going camping?”
“Yup.”
“Listen here, Miss City Girl. Don’t you know that’s outdoors where the dirt is?”
“Oh please. I can manage a little dirt.”
“Since when are you into camping?” Her skepticism gives me pause. I don’t know whether to be amused or offended.
“Since Alec suggested it.”
“So, it is a weekend fuck-a-thon?”
“It’s not a weekend fuck-a-thon, Kaye. We’re just going camping.” I try to keep my voice as even as possible, but I can’t help but feel somewhat offended at her assumption.
There’s more to me than fucking men. I’m excited to try something new. Something I’d never consider doing by myself. Can’t she see that?
At least Alec is amused, which makes me laugh despite myself. He grins and mouths the words ‘weekend fuck-a-thon’ at me before turning his attention back to the road.
Kaye takes a beat before responding. “Lost in the woods, with nothing but each other for warmth? You’re totally going to be fucking each other’s brains out. Hope you packed enough condoms. Remember, you and he make three without protection.”
I stare incredulously at the phone for a moment before responding to my best friend, in my most matter-of-fact tone. “I’m not getting pregnant.”
Alec tears his eyes off the road to stare at me. I point to my eyes and then to the road, telling him to pay attention to driving while I deal with Kaye.
“We’re stopping to get a few things. I’m sure we’ll load up on a bunch of condoms, but we’re really going camping. Alec’s got one of those backpacks. A real one. And he’s going to show me everything I need to know.”
“I can’t believe you’re with him. I mean, I can, but this isn’t you. This is like third level dating. You don’t date.”
“What do you mean by that?”
