AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I understood.
And for a while, I did cover up when we’d visit the beach just us two. But I feel different now. How else can I know what feels right if I don’t try it first?
So I take a deep breath and pull my swimsuit out of my bag with a hard nod of determination, trying to replace the nervous jitter that seems to follow me everywhere. I undress quickly and slip into the stretchy nylon, readying to face the world, or more accurately, Bastian, with his unrelenting stares and eyes as deep as the waters waiting for me outside.
* * *
Finding Bastian near the entrance,in black mid-thigh swim trunks, I fight the urge to tell him that our swimsuits match, convincing myself it’s childish and unimportant. Instead, I take the time to appreciate him like this. Tall, lean, stomach toned with muscles, his silver jewelry glinting, chest tattoo in prominent display in the New Mexico sun. As usual, he looks like he wants to be anywhere but here. But I don’t let it hinder my excitement, instead, I smile wide as I approach him, my large striped towel tightly wrapped around my body.
“Can you swim?” Bastian says all too casually while we start climbing down close to the edge, a few people already in the large pool of water, swimming and laughing.
“Yes I can swim,” I say much too fast and with way too much ardor for someone who barely swam a day in her life. Frustration and a dash of shame flare inside my chest but I push it back down, refusing to have another thing to add to the list ofthings Lucy cannot do.
He shrugs and replies, “See you in there then,” before diving in so gracefully that it barely creates any waves. I am left standing there, clinging to the rocks behind me, momentarily dumbstruck. He reappears a few seconds later. White blond hair falling into his eyes, water sluicing down his face as he whips his head to the side to get his hair off his forehead. Turning on his back, he faces me and arches an eyebrow.
Within that one small action, I understand everything he leaves unsaid, challenging me to admit thatall of itis too scary, too much and that yet again, I am not enough. Unshed tears prick the back of my eyes as the harsh emotions wash over me and I look up at the blue sky, trying to hold down all of my emotions. Unable to spend another second watching him peel off all my layers until I am bleeding open.
“Luce.” His voice floats up to me, and I spend a few more seconds watching the lone fluffy cloud drift by before looking back down. When I do, Bastian’s expression has softened and that scares me more than anything else. We study each other for what feels like an entire lifetime but it must have been only a few seconds before he says, “Do you trust me?”
My fingers dig into the rocks even harder than before, my body still cocooned inside my towel. My throat tightens, those four words pressing into me like a clamp winding me tighter and tighter.
“Should I?” I ask softly, my voice trembling over the vowels.
He stays silent, his arms treading water to keep him afloat, his chin dipping just below the water as he nods.
Knowing I cannot stand here frozen all day, I close my eyes. While taking a large breath in, I drop the towel, and before I can think my way out of it, I jump feet first into the water. One second I am in the air and the next the water swallows me whole. Panic rises quickly like the tide, but I use it to propel myself upwards and when my head finally breaches the surface, I gulp in air, barely keeping afloat, trying to locate Bastian near me. I calm down when I finally see him only an arm’s length away, I turn on my stomach and doggy paddle toward him. It doesn’t take long for a strong arm to wrap around my waist, pulling me towards him. My reflex is to cling to him, the depth of the waters below twisting my stomach into knots.
“Wrap your legs around my waist,” he says softly. I don’t think twice and do as he says, as well as folding my arms around his neck for good measure. In a few quick kicks of his legs, he brings us closer to the edge and I begin to calm down, my rational mind settling back where it belongs. Which makes me realize how close our bodies are, wet skin sliding against wet skin, his face mere inches from mine. I can feel his breath on my neck and I can’t help but wonder how the water would taste on his lips.
“I thought the rule was no touching,” I say with a small smile, trying to cut some of the tension.
Instead, it only heightens it, his eyes boring into mine, arm still wound tight around my waist as the other hand finds the top of my thigh, his finger slightly dragging under the hem of my swimsuit near my hip.
“Exceptions can be made,” he says gruffly, his chest rising along with his rapid breath.
Suddenly, the vision of him pleasuring himself floods my mind and I find myself pulled even closer to him, seeking friction against his hips. My breath hitches when I feel him hardening underneath me. I freeze, desperate to feel more of him, but not knowing what to do next or even how. I bite back a frustrated groan, annoyed with these chains that seem to hold me back with every step I take.
But all of it dissipates when I hear Bastian whisper in my ear, “How did last night make you feel, Luce?”
Part of me is astonished that he would bother to string enough words together to ask me that question, but when I feel his hips roll against mine I realize this is all part of this little game we are playing. And most likely why he’s letting me touch him. And all I want now is to play even harder.
“Good,” is all I manage to say.
“You’re going to have to be more descriptive than that,” he murmurs against my ear, the hand that was around my waist now traveling up my spine. “Were you turned on?” His heated whispers make me shiver uncontrollably, goosebumps breaking out all over my body.
I nod, swallowing hard, my hips unconsciously seeking the hardness between his thighs, surprisingly unbothered by a few tourists swimming further out.
“Did it make you want to touch yourself?” he mutters darkly.
“Y–yes,” I stutter out, suddenly shy but desperate to know where this will go.
“So why didn’t you,” he rasps, his fingers gently stroking my skin while he catches my earlobe between his teeth.
I jolt, a small gasp escaping me, hardly understanding how I could get such pleasure from his mouth on my ear.
“I am—I’m… not sure if I know how,” I force myself to say, trying my hardest not to feel embarrassed but failing miserably.
Bastian stills beneath me, and for a moment I think I have ruined the moment. That he will pull away and finally tell me this was all one giant mistake. Instead, I feel him craning his neck as if scanning the area for something, then finally he pulls away and tells me to hold on to his shoulder while he swims towards an alcove receding into what looks like a small cave. Before I can ask him what he’s doing, he turns me around and lifts me up onto the rocks slightly above him.
