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“No need to apologize. How was it?”
“Amazing. But I’m not the best judge of character.”
“I can’t tell you whether it’s a good idea or not to pursue things with Aaron, but if you’re honest with God, I find he’s pretty good at letting you know what to do. Assuming you’re willing to listen.”
“I think I’ve learned that lesson. At least for now. And right now, I feel closer to God than I have in a while.”
“Good.”
“Thinking about Aaron makes me feel a bit fuzzily euphoric, but besides that, my mind is clearer than it has been in a long time. It’s like — ” She sighed. “It’s like I can finally hear what God’s been saying to me for a while.”
“With Aaron or with your other problem?”
“I think I have to leave my love life to the side while I get the other sorted out. And I think I know how to do that now.”
“So that wisdom is coming through.”
“Loud and clear.” Sydney rubbed her hands on her legs. “Hey, has God ever asked you to do something that you really didn’t want to do?”
“Yes.”
“It’s not easy being obedient.”
“Nope. But you’ll find that once you make the decision to say yes to God, it becomes easy.”
“That’s what I thought.”
Bec squeezed Sydney’s shoulder. “I might go grab a shower before the pancakes are ready.”
“Good idea. I’ll just finish my coffee and join everyone. Thanks for being here.”
“Anytime. I’m glad Aaron brought you here. It was really good to meet you.”
“You too.” Sydney watched Bec shut the door, and her chest tightened. The right thing to do had never changed. She just didn’t want to face it before. She had wanted everything her way. But now that she was ready to listen, could it be too late?
She covered her face with her hands. “I’ve made such a mess of everything. I wouldn’t blame you if you gave up on me.”
I will never leave you or forsake you.
“But I went against everything you told me to do. I had so little faith in you and your ways.”
Even when you are unfaithful, I remain faithful. I cannot deny who I am. You are still here. You still have choices to make. And since when do I expect perfection from my children?
She couldn’t decide which terrified her more, that God would never give up on her even if she deserved it, or that she was about to choose his way, and that meant doing what she never thought she could do.
But it was clear now that she couldn’t depend on herself anymore. She needed to trust God in this. No matter what the consequences. She was tired of being tossed by the waves. She wanted the stability of doing things God’s way, even if she had to do it with her eyes closed.
She slipped into the house and grabbed her jacket and Aaron’s keys.
“Sydney?” Jemi asked from the hall before she could get out the door. “Everything okay?”
“Sorry, Jemi. I’ve gotta go. There’s something I need to do.”
“You sure you should leave now? You think it’s safe? It sounded like you guys were in some serious trouble.”
“I’ll be in more trouble if I don’t take care of this now. I don’t have time to explain it, but I don’t think it can wait. I gave someone my word, and it’s time for me to honor that.”
“Right now?”
