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“I’ll give her your greeting, but don’t feel sorry for her illness. She’s not feeling sorry for herself.”
“No. She wouldn’t be. But I would be sorry if the world didn’t have her in it anymore.”
“It would be a great loss for us but a gain for her. Call me if you need me.”
“I won’t need you.”
He nodded and left the room.
Once he was out of sight, she let out a shaky breath. It had taken all her strength to appear to have it all together in front of Peter, although she knew he would sense her weakness.
Her insides trembled at the thought of God being in the room. When she couldn’t shake the notion, she said, just in case He might be listening, “Leave me alone.” Then she closed her eyes and pretended to sleep.
If God was there, He’d know she was faking it, but she didn’t care. She might be badly injured, but her mind was as stubborn as ever.
Chapter19
Charlotte staredherself down in the mirror. After smoothing a flyaway hair, she licked her dark red lips and blinked against the weight of the mascara. She’d become accustomed to wearing it while practicing to be Maddison, but she was still aware of it.
Taking a deep breath, she pushed it back out slowly. Today was no practice. This was the day. She and Will had prepared for dozens of scenarios and pored over what to do if things went wrong, but this was the real thing, and he continued to remind her that anything could happen.
Yesterday, she’d been ready. Confidence had filled her. But it had somehow melted away as she slept. Today, her nerves sat like stones in her stomach.
“You still sure about this, God?” She bit her lip while she waited for a response. “This is your last chance.” It wasn’t, really. Will had said on multiple occasions that they could cancel until the point they went through the gate to Antonio’s estate. But once she left this room, in her mind, she couldn’t back out. “Okay. Here we go. I know you’ll be there even if I panic, but I’d appreciate it if you helped me not to panic.”
She had spent an hour before bed on her knees laying today at His feet. If He’d told her not to go last night, she’d been ready to give it all up. All she felt, even now, was to keep moving forward, so that’s what she was prepared to do.
Will stood when she entered the living room, where he was waiting. He looked her over, and his lips bunched when he met her eye.
“What is it?” she asked. “You’ve had that look before.”
“You still sure you want to do this?”
“Yes.”
“That’s all I need to know.”
“Tonight, we’ll celebrate a successful mission.”
He flinched, but said, “Yes, we will.”
* * *
Will was much more solemn on this trip than the last time he’d met with Antonio when Maddy had played the role. They always met him outside the city at his estate, so Will knew the lay of the place and how many guards to expect. If things went wrong, there would be very little chance of escape, so he had to make sure things didn’t go wrong. Antonio must not get any sense that Charlotte was not Maddison. But besides the tension of having Charlotte along on this trip, every other time had gone smoothly. Today should be no different.
“If at any time you feel like you don’t want to do this, you let me know, and we’ll abort.”
“Until we’re inside the gate.”
“Yes. But even then, if you get overwhelmed or don’t think you can go on, pretend to faint.”
“What if I faint for real?”
“You won’t, but if you do, I’ll deal with it while you enjoy a peaceful slumber.”
“That sounds like a good deal.”
“What I want you to understand is that you have a way out if you need one.”
