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Rowan's mother called to apologize. Apparently, she had believed the photos were real and had been trying to protect her daughter for once.
If she could be believed.
"It was clear that you felt something much deeper for Lysander than you ever did for Cyrus. I wanted to save you the pain of years being married to a philanderer."
"You didn't feel that way about Cyrus."
"By the time you left Cyrus, he held no piece of your heart. He could not hurt you."
"Oh, it hurt all right." It had been the hurt of betrayal and not heartbreak, but it had been painful all the same.
"But you were not devastated. Not like…"
"Like what, Mom?"
"Like I was the first time I realized your father had a mistress. Our marriage was arranged by our parents, but he was so charming. So handsome. When he walked into a room, his presence filled it."
This was a side of her mother Rowan had never seen. "You fell in love."
"Yes, but he didn't."
"Why did you stay with him?"
"Because that is what women in our station did. Falling in love with Richard was my weakness to bear. My father had other women, but he and my mother were not unhappy. Later in life, they became devoted to each other."
"You thought that would happen with Dad?" Rowan had a hard time imagining her father devoted to anything but his own search for more wealth and power.
"Yes." Her mother sighed. "Your father wasn't like mine. He didn't mark our anniversaries or get me beautiful jewelry for my birthday."
Rowan remembered her father giving her mother money and telling her to buy something with it to show off at the country club more than once. She'd thought that was normal, so when Cyrus had done it for her first birthday as a married woman, Rowan hadn't been bothered.
Now, she was, but not on her own behalf. On behalf of her mother. Her mother was no saint, but Rowan's father was a real piece of work.
"The only time we socialized together was when he needed me by his side for his image's sake."
"I thought that was the way you wanted it." Her mother had never acted like it bothered her that she and her husband led such separate lives.
"After you were born, we stopped sharing a bedroom. I resented you for that, though it had nothing to do with you. You came six years after Michael. Neither of us was expecting me to get pregnant again. Your father was not pleased and refused to risk it happening again, so he moved me to another bedroom."
"That had to have hurt." Rowan couldn't imagine what it would feel like if Lysander tried to relegate her to a different bedroom.
She did know that she would make him regret it. In so many ways. Murder would not be out of the running for one of them.
Reining in her thoughts, Rowan asked, "Why not just use birth control?"
"I was on the pill when I became pregnant with you. I offered to get a tubal ligation, but he said not to bother."
Ouch.
Rowan saw so much about her mother she'd never seen before. The pain and discontent she'd been forced to live with day in and day out had manifested in the way she treated others. The resentment she felt toward Rowan for being the catalyst to losing what was left of intimacy in her marriage had made sure that Rowan got the brunt of that negativity.
It wasn't fair. And it wasn't okay. But she understood it now.
"We'll never be close, Rowan. I've made too many mistakes with you and we're very different people, but I never wanted to see you unhappy."
"I sure wasn't happy married to Cyrus."
"You seemed content."
