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It’s my turn to roll my eyes. “Quit with the theatrics and get to the point, Rah.”
“I just don’t think that you’ve loved anyone since—”
“Don’t you dare!” I hiss, tossing my pizza slice back onto my plate and jabbing the air with my finger as my other hand tries not to spill a drop of wine from the plastic wine glass. “Don’t you dare compare the two of them!”
“I’m just saying that you really loved that man.”
“I said ‘don’t,’ Rah! I’ve gone on with my life, and he’s in my past. Discussing him only dredges up bad feelings, and I’m walking into my future now. My new and improved future. The other night was a mistake. One I’d like to leave in the past.”
I don’t know what it is about men and me. I seem to choose all the wrong ones and be seriously unlucky in love. When I’m just dating a guy, we have fun, wonderful conversations, and great sex. Yet, when I decide to catch feelings, it always goes horribly wrong super quick.
“Not so far in the past that you didn’t kick your girls to the side and spend the night with him.”
“Didn’t spend the night. I came home that night.”
“How can you go into this marriage when you know you have unresolved feelings for another man though, Piper?”
I breathe and turn my attention back to my pizza slice. Lifting it, I bite although I’m no longer hungry. It gives me something to do though; anything but respond to her.
“You know I’m right,” she persists when I remain silent too long.
“I don’t have unresolved feelings for him. I have no feelings for him anymore because I’ve made peace with that part of my life,” I explain.
“I wish you believed the shit you’re saying. It sounds as if you’re trying to convince yourself more than you’re trying to convince me.”
Shrugging, I say, “Well, I’m not. I love Kenneth.”
“Let me ask you this. When he kisses you, do you get wet like you did with Marco?”
“I’m turned on, yes,” I deflect.
“When he touches you, does he make you shiver, make you think about having sex with him when he’s not around and orgasming at the thought of him inside you?”
“Rah!”
“Well, those are things you eagerly shared in the past what Marco made you feel. So, I’m just doing a comparison, that’s all. If you’re not gonna be honest with me, at least keep it a buck with yourself,” Rashida says.
“I keep it real with myself and this is what I’m doing. This is what I want for my future. You know, you’ve got to make peace with my decision. This is my life to live, Rah. I don’t tell you how to live yours or who you should love.”
“That’s because I’m nobody’s fool. I know when to get my ass on and keep it moving. I know when the spark ain’t there, and you believe in true love like me.”
She hops off the couch and squeezes into the recliner with me. Wrapping an arm around my shoulder and pressing her head against mine, she says, “Honey, I just don’t want to see you hurt even more than you already are.”
I press into the one-armed hug as she leans closer, resting her chin on my head.
“I know,” I mumble. “I know.”
“I sometimes wonder how your life would have turned out had Marco remained in it,” she says.
“I don’t,” I lie.
She nudges me with an elbow. “Seriously?” she asks.
Laughing, I shake my head and say, “No,” as I swipe at the tears forming in my eyes.
“Aww, honey, please reconsider what you’re doing. You deserve to be happy. Even if it’s not Marco, the right person will come along who deserves your love and make you feel all the heat, the passion, and the panty-wetting moans that Marco gave you. Jackass doesn’t deserve you,” she says.
I’ve shared a bit too much about how condescending Kenneth can be one too many times. It hasn’t helped formulate a positive opinion about him in her mind, and he isn’t exactly friendly when she’s around.
