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Jack’s dainty fingers splayed across my knee jolts me back to the present. We both turn our bodies towards each other, and her face goes from curious to sad. She pulls her knees into her chest and hugs them with her arms.
“Don’t you ever regret it? I mean, after all of that schooling the stable salary. Or the city life, the amazing food and culture at your fingertips. How could you just walk away?”
Jack’s questions are similar to the some of the ones my parents asked me, but they’re also devoid of judgment and contempt. Instead, I feel like she truly wants to know these things. As if she wants to know me.
My lips turn up in a smile. “You’d think, right? But no. I have zero regrets. Every day, I get to wake up on this beautiful ranch, surrounded by nature, with the mountains in the distance. I basically live with two of my favorite people in the world. I’ve met interesting people along the way, most of all, you, Jack.”
“That’s brave,” Jack says, and her voice trails off. She almost looks sad as she looks down at her lap.
I crave her eyes and feel loss when she’s no longer looking at me, so I put my hand underneath her chin and nudge her face up again. Her eyes blink and flick up. I study them closer than I ever have. They remind me of the color of chestnuts. Or maybe caramel. I lean in to study them closer, and then I catch myself when I realize Jack and I are nose to nose.
“I’m sorry,” I begin to say, but Jack wraps her hand around the nape of my neck and closes the gap between us until her soft lips are on mine. I don’t shut my eyes; I’m too shocked. But neither does Jack. And after tasting the softness of her lips, and staring into her eyes, I decide on honey. The taste of her, the color of her eyes. Honey.
On cue, Frankie runs up behind me and barks, and Jack and I both pull away from each other.
“I didn’t—” Jack begins, but I wave her words away frantically.
“No, no, it was my fault. I . . .” My voice trails off. I’m not sure what I was even going to say. I am sorry if I went too far? But I’m not sorry I kissed Jack. Or did she kiss me? Does it matter?
Jack shoots up to a standing position, fingers rubbing her lips. I follow suit. She looks around, clearly worried about being seen, but the group is well off in the distance. “I’m sure no one was looking in our direction.”
“We shouldn’t have kissed,” Jack says, shaking her head, as if she wants the memory of it gone.
Jack’s right. I didn’t even think I liked her. I mean, she seems to want the opposite of the life I’m trying to build here. She lives in San Francisco, the city I couldn’t get away from fast enough. She’s girly and has big corporate aspirations. We are literally polar opposites. But my heart sinks a bit at her words.
“You’re right, and I’m sorry if I took advantage of you in any way.”
“You didn’t,” she says quickly. “I don’t think anyone saw us. We need to just forget it ever happened, and this goes without saying, but we should never speak about it again.” Jack hurries off. She practically runs back to the group.
I sit back down, and Frankie sits next to me. “Well, boy,” I say. “I suppose I should thank you for bringing us back to reality.”
My voice tries to deceive my heart, but I can’t be sure it works. There’s a depth to Jack, and well, I’d have to be blind not to admit how gorgeous she is. Frankie licks my hand, and I pat him on his head, and then stand up.
“Frankie, if you know what’s good for you, keep me away from that woman.”
We start back toward the group. I step slowly around the sagebrush and toss the ball. Frankie barks, runs to retrieve it, and then trots along beside me as we rejoin the group.
Jack
Trying not to twitch overhow thrilling that little kiss was, I march back to camp. My cheeks are on fire and my heart thunders in my chest, so I take long, measured breaths to get myself under control. I keep my eyes trained on the ground, not wanting to trip over any stray rocks or critters. But in truth, that’s a lie, I just don’t want to face anyone at the moment.
“Really, Jack. What got into you?” I mumble to myself.
My lips still tingle, and the kiss was really . . . nice. There wasn’t any real pressure behind it, and the way we just looked into each others’ eyes, I think we were both stunned by how suddenly I grabbed Luca and pressed my mouth to his. It’s awful that I made him feel the need to apologize, but I couldn’t find any words to explain what I’d done. Heck, I didn’t even understand why the conversation about him deciding to leave California drew me to him so much.
What I said, though, was right. No more thinking about it. Absolutely not. It’s only the end of day two, so I have another three days to get through on this little outing with him so close everywhere I turn. Once I get back to San Fran, my head should clear a little. All this so-called fresh air is apparently impeding my judgement.
When I get back to the camp area, most of the team is pitching tents for the night. That much makes sense, because we still have to wait for transport to take Nathan to the nearest town. When I walk around the end of the wagon, I almost run into Eddie and Derrick, who load up one of the tents with the food and supplies from the wagon Emma has been driving. The tarp that normally covers it is off sits inside along with Nathan sits inside with his leg propped up.
Wyatt and Geoffrey return to grab one last crate that sits on the rear end of the wagon.
“What’s this?” I ask Wyatt.
He and Geoffrey bend over and grab the crate at the same time, and there’s a shared grunt as they stand. Wyatt says with a strain, “Emma can fill you in,” and they march toward the tent.
But Emma is nowhere in sight. I climb into the wagon to check on Nathan, who’s holding a canteen. He hisses when I touch the toe of his boot.
“Sorry,” I look up into his now-glassy eyes and scowl. The pain must be sending him into a numb state.
