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“My life?” I asked, unaware that I still had a life worth living.
“The life you claim you don’t have,” he said. “Your soul isn’t dead, Jemma. There’s still so much life left in you. You don’t have to end up the way I did.”
“Like you did? Jamie, you’ve got a mansion in the sky. For fuck’s sake, seems like you made the right choice from where I’m standing.”
“You think I’m happy with the choice I made?” He shook his head. “If I’d only known what I know now… there are things I was supposed to do down on Earth. There are things we’re all supposed to do.”
Though Jamie poured his heart out to me, all I could hear was that he would be leaving me again, and that it was inevitable. My heart pounded in my chest.
“But… you said this was a date.” I felt myself deflate as I said the words, disappointment in my voice.
He’d said date. Date implied the start of the beginning. The start of someone staying in your life. I hadn’t even realized that Jamie wouldneedto leave. That his re-arrival in my life could never spell anything permanent. A grim expression flashed over Jamie, and his eyes widened, like he’d suddenly realized thatdatehad been the wrong word. That connecting to me again had been the wrong thing for him to do.
I swallowed, suddenly feeling so foolish in my dress. Once again, I’d been a complete moron. For having that mentality that this was the beginning of a relationship that would remain constant.
Fuck. Jemma!
He said once he saved you, he would leave.
I should’ve also realized that meant… he was definitely going to leave.
Get a grip, Jemma… get a grip… get a grip…
You can’t go on a date with a dead man.
What’s wrong with me?
“I don’t do anything right, do I?” Jamie bunched a clump of his hair together in his hands, turned away from me, and then paced back and forth. His aura flickered, along with the vibrancy in the room. Everything dimmed.
A whoosh of reality hit me smack in the face. All around, the world deteriorated. The logs in the fire popped once loudly, the fumes escaping out into the room. Sizzling sounded while the place crumbled away into little sparks of energy.
“What’s happening?” I asked, voice cracking as I stepped back.
“I’m not the right one for this job,” Jamie said. “You need someone who can actually help you. Not me! All I’m going to do is fuck this up. Just like everything else. Look at how I’m making you feel.” He clasped his hands around his eyes and forehead, pacing more feverously. Behind him, the walls burned down, sparks flying everywhere. Jamie was oblivious.
As the roof above fizzled away, the lanterns which had once hung in the sky dropped. Crashing into the water below—no longer the calm water we’d boated on when we arrived. The waves rose up outside, pounding into the rocks, threatening to make their way up to the open space where we now stood at the top of the hill. Fire ravaged through the grass.
For the first time being in this place, a rush of actual heat—an uncomfortably thick, unpleasant heat so palpable I could taste it when I opened my mouth—crawled along my skin.
“Jamie!” I said sternly. He didn’t seem to hear me, stomping back and forth through the room, his eyes still covered. Flames sprung up around us. The books in the shelves had turned to char, the smell of burning paper filling the room.
“Jamie!” I cried again, planting my feet firmly against the ground, allowing my voice to boom through the chaos.
That was when the first quake happened.
The floor shook below. I caught my balance, limbs trembling.
“Jamie! Take us back to my place. Now,” I demanded.
He stood where the bookshelf had once been—now a partial wall which looked more like what you would find if you were visiting Roman ruins. The remaining wall, more of a ledge after the destruction, reached Jamie’s waste. He peered out at the water, back facing me.
“Jamie!” I called again, rushing over to him this time.
“Everything’s all my fault.” He kept his back toward me as the house continued to crumble. “It’s my fault that I can’t be with you Jemma.”
“You’re here with me right now.”
“I can’t be with you,” he said. “Not the way we could’ve been. If I hadn’t been so stupid. Maybe bringing you here was a huge mistake.”
