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I felt the need to defend myself. “‘Avoiding’ is a strong word. I come home for every holiday.”
Cam’s eyebrows winged up in disbelief. “And yet few residents of Beacon Hill have actually seen you.”
She had me there. I searched for a way to explain my absence without touching on Sissy or the fanfic incident. There were some strolls down memory lane that I would never be interested in taking.
“It’s always hard to get a lot of time off around the holidays.” The explanation sounded weak even to my own ears. I remembered how honest Cam had been at Drip and decided to trust her with some truth. “And being around Sissy has never been my favorite way to pass the time.”
“Well, I can certainly understand that sentiment. I’ve been known to take drastic measures to avoid her at the grocery store myself.” She took a sip of water. “I’ve managed to make it an entire year without having to pretend like I’m so happy to see her again.”
“Good news: you might not have to play dodge-the-Sissy too much longer. It seems like she’s really pressuring Macon to relocate to Savannah after the wedding.”
“And God bless Savannah for that.” We both laughed. “I would actually love to be a fly on the wall for that wedding.”
“How would you like to be the maid of honor?” I teased. “I’m more than willing to let you take my place.”
Cam’s eyebrows rose, eyes going wide in surprise.
“I don’t know how to say this without sounding insulting, but I can’t believe she choseyouto be her maid of honor.”
“Me either. I’m pretty sure I was only selected for the role because Macon and Mama pressured her into it. Lucky me.”
“Yikes. I don’t know if I feel worse for Macon or for you.”
“Okay, ladies!” Mrs. Thomas appeared, carrying two plates in her hand. She placed the plates in front of us, saying, “I made sure you had extra homemade chips, Sutton.”
“Thank you so much! That’s so kind of you.” My stomach gave a loud rumble at the thought of all that delicious sandwich in its future.
“You’re welcome. If you came home more, I could spoil you more. Just something to think about,” she tossed over her shoulder as she made her way back to the kitchen.
“She’s very subtle with her hints,” I joked, taking a bite of my sandwich.
“I swear, she gets worse with age. It’s like she doesn’t even try anymore.” Cam smiled affectionately at her mom’s retreating back. “She’s the best, though. I couldn’t ask for a better grandma for the kids. If she’s not here, she’s trying to get her hands on a grandbaby.”
Maybe it was the power of homemade kettle chips, but I suddenly found a part of my backbone that I didn’t know existed.
“Can I ask you a question?” I waited for her nod before continuing. “You said that you felt bad for Macon. How is that even possible after what he did?”
She shrugged, not looking the least upset or offended by my question.
“I’m incredibly happy with the way my life turned out. I think that makes it easier not to hate either of them. It took me a long time to get to this point, though. I don’t want it to sound like I’m some kind of saint.”
“Holden actually told me you’d probably say the breakup was the best thing to ever happen to you. I was really surprised that you two still talk.”
She finished chewing before answering. “He’s not wrong. Looking back, I think I was way more in love with theideaof Macon than I was with Macon himself. It’s not that he’s a bad guy, necessarily. He just lacks...substance? Does that sound terrible? Of course, I don’t know the grownup version of Macon, and people can change.”
I nodded my head in agreement. As much as I wanted to hold on to my childhood idea of Macon, I couldn’t square that version of him with the version that would cheat on Cam and marry Sissy.
“It doesn’t sound terrible at all. It’s really hard for me to imagine someone willingly marrying Sissy and not having their own issues, honestly. How did you and Holden end up being friends?”
“Holden always kept in touch. He’d check in a couple times a year when I went to college, and reached out to me when we moved back to Beacon Hill. At the time, he was dating a medical student, and the four of us went out together pretty frequently — until I got too pregnant to move, anyway.” She paused, taking a sip of her tea. “At first, I thought it was misplaced guilt over what Macon had done — Holden’s always taking responsibility for him like that — but as time went on and I got to know him better, I realized that’s just who Holden is.”
I tried not to let my curiosity about his former girlfriend show too much. I couldn’t imagine the kind of woman who could attract the attention of Holden St. James. She was probably a tall, willowy blonde who was as brilliant as she was funny. Her family lineage would be impeccable and could probably trace their ancestry back to George Washington.
“That surprises me. I guess I always thought Holden came off as an arrogant ass.” I winced, realizing that I was talking about her friend. “Sorry.”
She laughed. “Don’t apologize. Holden can definitely be an arrogant ass, but he’s changed a lot since we were kids. He’s a really good guy under those stiff suits.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” I replied, not about to reveal that I had my own reason for disliking the St. James men. “I’m just hoping to make it through this wedding, and after it’s over I plan to have as little contact as possible with anyone named St. James.”
