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“A few months ago, I realized that the spark we had when things were exciting just wasn’t there. When we graduated, when we bought the condo, when we redid the kitchen . . . those were all things that allowed us to grow and move together. We had things to look forward to, ya know?” He shifted his gaze to me and continued, “But now that we both have jobs we love and our own things going on, I just feel like we are moving in different directions. We don’t do the little shit anymore. I’m not sure if either of us is really happy with what we chose.”
I nodded to show I understood what he was saying but didn’t want him to pause his story. He took a deep breath and kept going.
“I had a conference for work in Cleveland last weekend. Those events can get a little crazy. Since my job is to sell and promote liquor, it’s always easier to involve it in conversations I have with potential vendors.”
I swallowed and could already picture the scene that Chase was standing in. Katie and I accompanied Chase to a conference over spring break last year. We met him for a weekend in Cincinnati and had a blast. It was a perfect place to meet new connections, but there were times when it could definitely get out of hand. You had a bunch of people away from their everyday lives in a big city and staying in a fancy hotel paid for by their job. It didn’t take much persuading for some people to step outside their normalcy.
“It just happened,” Chase stated matter-of-factly. We both knew he didn’t need to provide the details because, at the end of the day, it didn’t matter how it happened. “It happened, and I told him as soon as I saw him when I got back.”
I expected to feel angry at Chase when he got to the end of his story. I had filled my head with tons of possibilities that made Chase look like an asshole. But the man who sat in front of me didn’t come off that way. My heart sank further into my chest, and I felt the burn behind my eyes.
“Do you still love him?” I whispered and wiped the corners of my eyes.
His eyes slowly met mine, and he shook his head. “I don’t know,” he admitted. He looked tired and void of any emotion. It was like everything he had was spent over the last few days on this couch.
“It’s okay to take time and figure out what you want.” Jaxon’s words flowed from my mouth, and I surprised myself with how different my reaction was.
“I don’t know how much time I have.” Chase dragged a hand down his face. “I know Trey, and he won’t wait for me. I’m not even sure if I still have a chance of fixing things.”
“You haven’t talked to him?”
“No.” Chase sighed and stood up. He paced around the living room and placed his hands behind his head.
“You haven’t reached out to him at all?” I asked a little more urgently.
“No, Mace,” he said sternly.
That rattled me a bit. Chase got here on Thursday, and it was already Sunday. In that span of time, he hadn’t evenattemptedto reach out to Trey and apologize or start the process of talking things through. He got to sit there and sulk because he had the full picture of what happened and how he saw things in their relationship over the last year. Whether they were unhappy or not, Trey deserved better than that, and he deserved to have some sort of closure.
I exhaled sharply through my nose and stared at my brother. “You’ve been sitting here moping about something, and you don’t even know if it’s over?” My voice started to climb, and suddenly, the calm and collected coat I wore into the conversation slipped off.
I could already picture Jaxon shaking his head. “Chase, if you don’t want to be with Trey, then that’s fine. But you cannot sit here and wallow in sad country music and a bottle of vodka if you haven’t even tried to fix it!”
“I don’t know what I’m fixing!” He raised his voice to meet mine. It was laced with hurt from the breakup and confusion about what to do next. “I want to at least talk about what happened, but I know Trey. He isn’t going to make it easy.”
“You don’t get to decide that though, what is easy and what isn’t easy. You made a choice, Chase . . . and this is the aftermath of that choice.”
He lifted his eyes to meet mine, and we both stared at each other.
“Trey is sitting around waiting to see if you’re going to fight for him and what you guys had,” I explained softly.
Chase crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. “I don’t know what to say to him,” he admitted.
“You tell him the truth,” I suggested softly.
Our eyes met again, and I offered him a sad smile. He returned the gesture and sat back on the couch.
“Whatever you decide, I support you.” I placed my hand on his kneecap. “But don’t just throw away a conversation you really want to have just because you think it’s easier.”
Chase nodded and shoved me playfully. He then caught my shoulder and pulled me in for a hug. “Thank you for the pep talk,” he murmured.
I smiled into his shoulder. “Anytime, Sheesh.”
The following morning, Chase was on his way back to Pittsburgh.
Chapter49
Jaxon
