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I shook my head. “Ysara and Tymriel seemed the most likely to support me—although not until I’m thequeen they know I can be. Ysara showed me the hybrid kingdom and the day we lost everything, and she seemed invested in my becoming stronger. Sylphina, Rivenlor, and Gavros…they were focused on how I was raised in that village and know nothing about ruling. I may be the only one with time magic, but…”
The realization slammed into me. Iwasn’tthe only one with time magic.
“There you go,” Lorian said grimly.
It sank in. “My cousin. Zathrian. He got to them first.”
Lorian nodded. “The elders are playing both sides. I have no doubt they would like you to prove you can be the queen they would hope for you to be. But by now, they probably know Zathrian. He was young enough when his parents dropped the wards that even you thought he could be innocent.”
“He played them,” I marveled. “He got here first. It’s why he killed our spy. He wanted to make sure we wouldn’t send anyone else—at least right now—so we wouldn’t know what he was up to.”
I turned to pace. I had no doubt Ysara would prefer me as queen, but only if I could prove to be a better choice than Zathrian. I was relatively sure Tymriel was on my side too. Zathrian had three of the elders, and I had two.
Rage swept through me. “What has he done all these years? Our people have been dying since the day Regner arrived. And he’s known about it since he’d seen twelve winters.”
“I don’t know, wildcat, but we need to find out exactly what he has been up to.”
The elders had made me feel like I wasn’t enough. And I’d let them. I hadn’t seen it, because some part of me had been relieved that we were all in agreement about my deficiencies.
I’d let them make me feel small. When in reality, they’d been playing me against my cousin. I glanced at Lorian. “You saw what they were doing so easily.”
“I’ve been dealing with these kinds of situations for a very long time.”
My jaw ached from clenching my teeth. I could use this to make myself feel insecure and unworthy, or I could use it as fuel.
They wanted me to grow stronger? On that, we were in perfect agreement.
My eyes met Lorian’s. “I need to go to Gromalia.”
Understanding flickered across his face, and he stepped closer. “You’re going to attempt to convince Eryndan to ally with you.”
“Yes.”
“We will need to cross the border by land. The Arslan won’t allow humans to see their ships, and Rythos would never break that law.”
I nodded. “Any word from Demos and the others?”
“No. I’ll send some messages once we’re in Gromalia.”
“Thank you.”
“What are you thinking?”
“I’m doing it, Lorian.” My voice cracked, and then I was in his arms.
“You’re taking your crown.”
“I am. And if, at the end of it all, when my people are safe, they want someone else…I’ll step aside.”
Gladly. I’d step aside gladly. But in the meantime, I’d do whatever it took to bring them home.
He pulled me closer, his expression unreadable. I peered up at him. “I thought you’d be pleased.”
He’d always been the one to see things in me I couldn’t see myself. The one who’d insisted I live up to my potential.
“Pleased is the wrong word. I’mproud, Prisca. I know you can do it. But this war will change you. You’ll lose people you love. You’ll lose parts of yourself. I could never want that for you, even as I know you will save your people.”
I took a deep breath. “I’m afraid,” I admitted.
