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She wipes her eyes and turns to leave, but she pauses at the door. “The place looks amazing,” she says, not looking at me. “Thank you.”
“It’s all for you.”
She runs out, and the door slams closed behind her.
Chapter42
Keely
Ikeep thinking about him coming out of Jamila’s grandmother’s house. The look on his face, the sadness in his eyes. And later, the story he told me in the shop, how he was a young man taking orders, struggling to prove himself.
I understood him then, or at least the man he used to be.
I keep thinking about the kiss. About what he said: the baby is a gift.
But I also keep thinking about my parents. How I was a mistake, and this baby wasn’t planned, and how terrified I am of resenting my own child the way my parents did.
Can I really drag Nolan into this?
“You haven’t left that couch in like a full day.” Jamila hands me some tea and sits in the chair opposite. “Want to talk about it?”
“Not really.” I take a long drink and sigh. It’s a little too hot and I burn my tongue, but it’s good. “I know I’ve been like the worst houseguest—”
“Don’t,” Jamila says. “You can stay as long as you like.”
“It’s just, I can’t go back to my apartment, there’s nothing in it, and I don’t want to go back to Nolan’s place, and I just—”
“Seriously, Keels. As long as you want.”
I force myself to smile at her. “Thanks, Jams. I don’t deserve it though. I feel like I’ve been a huge dick lately.”
“You’re going through something serious.”
“Trying to figure it all out, anyway.”
“Are you leaning one way or the other?”
I chew my lip, afraid to tell her the truth, so I shake my head. “I can’t decide. Nolan’s so sincere when he says he wants to be in this baby’s life, but there are a million reasons why it’s a bad idea.”
Jamila looks like she wants to say something, but she stops herself, and leans back. “You’ll figure it out.”
“That’s it? Not going to convince me to tell him to fuck off once and for all?”
“No,” she says, standing up. “Because I think whatever you choose, that’s the right decision. If you want to give things a try with him, then you should do it. Just know that I’m here for you if it all falls through.”
I put my tea down and stand. “You’re a really good friend.”
“Eh, not really. But I’ll take the compliment.” We hug, and for the first time in a few days, I feel okay.
I shower after that. Get myself dressed. Make plans to head down to the shop and check on the progress there. But before I can leave the apartment, there’s a knock at the door. This time, I don’t imagine gun-toting thugs as I go to answer it.
Nolan’s standing on the threshold. My mouth opens in surprise, and I take an involuntary step back.
Might as well be a whole squad of killers.
“Hello, my wife,” he says, not moving to come in. “I was hoping you would accompany me on a trip.”
“A trip?” I look around. He doesn’t have any men with him, so he’s not here to kidnap me. Probably. “Where to?”
