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Felix was sat opposite me, nervously sipping a glass of champagne Sylvester had insisted on being brought out to ‘celebrate’ the occasion. I’d politely declined, citing my travel sickness, but thinking again instead of the growing Brock lifeform in my belly.
Turns out Felix was a shaky flyer, too, so we travelled back mainly in companionable silence. Occasionally Felix would murmur the words of a poem he was reading in one of the twenty books he’d insisted on packing. I let myself drift off into a nap, the words of his poetry the background to my peaceful sleep.
When I woke up, we were landing, and I was ushered into the back of a car with the two twins before I was fully awake again. We were, apparently, on the way to Sylvester’s apartment.
I liked the feeling that I was ‘along for the ride’, an integral part of whatever adventure had just unfolded, but I was somewhat worried that Sylvester was doing what he always did: assuming Iwantedto spent my free time gallivanting about with him, that his adventures were more important than any others. He was often correct, though. My years with Sylvester at my side had been some of the most exciting and eventful, as well as, in the end, the most painful.
My phone buzzed with a call from my dad. Our calls were one-sided, since he was a man of very few words, but he liked hearing my voice, anyway, so he would often call me just to hear me talk. It wasn’t that hecouldn’ttalk, it had always seemed to me more that he had no interest in doing so. Perhaps he felt he had nothing to say, or perhaps he thought in music rather than words, which is why he could compose a symphony quicker than he could ever speak a whole paragraph, even on a topic he was really interested in.
I didn’t pick up, but I planned to call him back when we arrived at the apartment. I left Sylvester and Felix settling into Sylvester’s apartment and ducked out into the hallway.
My dad picked up after a few rings. “Hello.”
“Hi dad.” I kept my voice cheerful, even though I was a bit tired and nauseous, still. “Any particular reason for the call, or just a check-up?”
He didn’t say anything, which meant it was just a chat. My dad had never been a wordsmith. His language was music. With anything else, he was like a fish out of water. When I was growing up, people had often thought my dad was unintelligent. The thing is, he wasveryintelligent. He’d just never seen the point in chatting. He called because he said once that hearing my voice was like music to him – it was the only small talk he cared for.
I gave some vague updates on my work, aware that I could be overheard by Sylvester or his security quite easily out here. I certainly wasn’t about to tell my dad about the pregnancy right now. Eventually, we said goodbye, and I made my way back to Sylvester’s apartment.
Inside, I was met with the vision of all four non-Apollo brothers, swiveling around to stare at me when I entered.
I’d not met Winston, Jude or Forest before. It was weird how they all slightly resembled each other, and Apollo. That was probably a silly thing to think about brothers. But it was strange, the way it had happened: how they’d all had different upbringings, never known each other until adulthood, really.
Winston folded his arms. “Ah, the famed memoirist. Back to write some more slander about our personal lives, huh?”
Sylvester thumped him on the arm. “Leave it. It’s her job, alright?”
Sylvester was staring with such venom at Winston that Winston held up his hands and backed off. “Alright, alright, sorry Luna. Welcome to the family.”
Sylvester thumped him again. “Don’t say that! That’s weird!”
Winston cackled and made his way to the fridge as if he lived here.
Not too keen to make my introductions to the other Brock brothers who must universally despise me, I spotted Felix standing out on the balcony and made some quick excuse about needing fresh air.
Outside, Felix looked up when I closed the door behind me.
I met his gentle eyes. I knew he was much more of an introvert than Sylvester’s half-brothers. “Don’t worry. I’m avoiding the Brocks too. You don’t need to chat if you need a moment’s peace and quiet.”
To my surprise, he shook his head. “No, it’s okay. It’s good to see you. You never make me feel particularly overwhelmed or stressed, anyway.”
“Unlike them.” I smirked.
“Yes. Exactly.”
I joined him standing at the balcony edge, staring out across the city. For a moment I stood in silence, letting the slight breeze wind around my hair. After a day of private jets and hire cars, it turned out I did need the fresh air.
It was Felix who broke the silence. “I’m glad you are back in touch with my brother. Or, are you?”
I smirked. “Remains to be seen.” But the fact that I didn’t say outrightnomeant my opinion had changed quite a lot from when we’d first reunited in the dingy basement bar all those weeks ago.
“I understand why you might have mixed feelings. But you were always a good influence on Sylvester. Out of all his girlfriends and friends, the only time I ever saw himself act really like... himself, was when you were around. He loved you very, very deeply.”
I wasn’t sure what to say to that. It moved me that Felix thought I was a good influence on his brother. As for the love... it was complicated. “Thanks.”
“I don’t expect you to forgive him for what he did. But, for what it’s worth... I saw all the pain that he went through during those last years with you and the band, before Emory died. He had a really tough time. I think the selfish thing for him to do would have been to keep you all close to him. Instead, he destroyed his entire support network, apart from me and our mom, to try and keep you all safe. He might have been misguided. But he was a stupid kid, really. Not quite a proper adult yet. And it tore him up. It really did. Like I said, he loved you very much. More than he loved his band. If you can believe it.”
“Thanks.” I was repeating myself. I needed to say something meaningful back, but I wasn’t quite ready to process what he’d said just yet. “I mean it, thank you. I’ll keep it in mind. I mean, I’ll have to think it over some other time, it’s been a long day.”
