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"Unfortunately, I was stumped for words that wouldn't startle him."
"Oh, I understand. I don't want to worry him either." But, of course, that was only a partial truth. I believed I knew what he'd do if I were pregnant, but I wasn't totally sure, and that issue was scary.
"Later on tonight, after business hours, I'll try again. By then, you should have the results from the test."
My stomach flipped in response. I took a deep breath and forced myself to look down at my phone again, hoping it would provide clarity. Yet, my phone didn't hold the answers to questions racing through my mind. "You mentioned weaning me off my medications. It's been over twelve hours since I took my last pill."
"How do you feel?"
"No different. I feel the same—just a gnawing headache," I said, massaging my temples.
"Let me get you some Tylenol. It's okay in low doses." Joyce stacked our empty bowls on the tray. "I'll be right back. Feel free to lay on the couch, relax a bit, and watch the rain."
I smiled, grateful for the permission to rest. Then, walking over to the couch, I decided to lay down as instructed, still wondering what I would eventually say to Chase other than I missed him. A few minutes later, Joyce returned with a cup of water and two Tylenol tablets. I washed them down and pulled the comfy spread over my legs.
The thunder roared, and soon after, the pouring rain crashed against the window. My eyelids began to feel heavy, and the voices in the hall seemed far away. Then, suddenly, I heard some quick steps and the office door cracked open. "Meagan. It's Dr. Latimer. I have the test results."
My eyes flew open, and I sat up immediately. "What is it?" I asked, my heart skipping a beat.
"Let me come in so we can talk." He entered the office, and Joyce followed, her eyes wide open as she waited for the news. Dr. Latimer glanced at both of us and then smiled, and I didn't know what that meant. It would be hard to believe he would be happy if the test was positive, especially under the circumstances.
"Meagan, the test result is positive. So, you're pregnant," he said softly, watching closely for my reaction.
Joyce gasped, and I felt like the world had stopped for a few seconds.
The only thing I could think of after that moment was — Wow, this is what it feels like! My legs went numb as my heart raced faster than ever before. Of course, I had suspected it, but actually hearing the confirmation was something else entirely.
"I understand congratulations may be in order, Meagan," he said. Yet, it sounded more like a guilty verdict than a heartfelt congratulations.
"If you're asking if I want to keep the baby. The answer is yes!" I threw off the spread and stood. "So, tell me, what's the next step? I have this damned worthless implant in my arm doing God knows what... How did I get pregnant anyhow? I thought this was supposed to be the best bet for me since I was taking a handful of dangerous drugs that would cause congenital disabilities or cause me to lose my baby. I want my baby to be safe.... what in God's name!"
Joyce hurried to my side and wrapped her arm around me. "Give me some deep breaths. In through your nose... out through your mouth."
Dr. Latimer stepped closer and looked me up and down. "When was your last dose of the Keppra?"
"Last night!" I spat, tears forming in the corners of my eyes.
"Meagan. We're going to need to transfer you to the hospital. It's unsafe for you to try to wean yourself off your medications. I'll have to call.... what's the name of the OBGYN doctor?
"Dr. Carlos Rodriquez," I told him.
"He will have to admit you and determine your treatment plan." Dr. Latimer looked away and rushed out the door.
"Chase! I need to call Chase. Where's my phone!" I looked around frantically and didn't see it at first, yet it was sitting right before me on Joyce's desk. "I feel weird."
"That's normal. It's the emotions playing with your brain. Do you want me to call Chase for you?" I nodded, and Joyce tried again, but it didn't even go to voicemail this time.
"I can't imagine what's wrong..." I grabbed Joyce's arm. "My feet feel like they're getting numb."
"Oh, no! Sit down. I'll call Dr. Latimer. You need to be transported right away." Joyce picked up her phone and barked some orders. The next thing I knew, I had an oxygen mask over my face. As I was wheeled to the waiting ambulance, I noticed the storm had passed, and the sun was slipping below the horizon.
Then, I suddenly had a feeling everything was eventually going to be okay.
The siren was intense as we raced through the streets. I looked up at the EMT and asked, “Am I having a seizure? Or is this just a different sort of panic attack?
"Honestly, we're not sure. You didn't have a full-blown seizure, which I can tell from the readout on your brain waves. They will have to run tests to know what your diagnosis is. Your heart is doing fine." She pointed at the monitor beside me.
Not long after, I arrived at the hospital, and Dr. Rodriguez immediately appeared at my bedside. I lifted the oxygen mask off my face to ask, "How did I get pregnant? I thought the implant was almost foolproof?"
