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I don’t know how to deal with quiet Carina.
As I watch, her fingers dance along her medallion, and guilt tightens my chest and stomach. Her brother’s death has done so much damage.
I’vedone so much damage. I push that horrible truth aside.
“Do you remember the time you broke your mother’s favorite cup?”
Carina’s head snaps up, and she blinks rapidly. Even in her subdued mood, she’s still a force. She still makes every fiber of my being pay attention.
“It broke into so many pieces.” I walk toward her. Each step is heavy with guilt, fear, love; it’s like walking in waist-deep water. But I keep going until we’re almost toe-to-toe.
A shot of light flashes in her eyes, and I know she’s going to smile before her lip tugs up slightly.
“You spent hours putting each tiny piece back together.” I smile, thinking of the time I sat and watched her work in deep concentration. Carina did that to me, made me forget about time and obligations. All that mattered at the moment was her.
“It wasn’t just a mug; it was an heirloom, and I also remember you made me break it.” Her voice quivers, the shock of what just happened settling into her bones while the pull of being present fights for dominance.
“How is it my fault?” I question, entertained that she could turn this on me.
“You made me laugh so hard I dropped the thing.” She smiles, but there’s loss in her gaze.
I reach out and pinch my fingers against a long tendril of hair, pushing the moisture to the end. “You got to the last piece of the mug…”
She shakes her head, but the smile on her face has me grinning. “Stupid glue,” she says, her brown eyes twinkling up at me.
On the final piece of porcelain, Carina glued her finger to the mug. When we tried to get her finger loose, the mug shattered for a second time. It was worse than the first time.
“We’ll blame the glue,” I tease and reach out and grip her head, tilting her neck back so she’s looking up at me. “Do you remember what you said to me while holding all the broken pieces in your hands?”
Carina’s smile is gone, and her brows drag closer together as she thinks about that day. I haven’t forgotten a second of it. “You told me, when things break so badly that they can’t be fixed, you must take the pieces and make something with them.”
She nods.
“And that’s what you did. You made that picture for your mother with the broken pieces.”
Carina’s lips curve upward. “Well, I paid someone to do it.”
I laugh and dip my head closer, placing a kiss on her forehead. That’s the only reason her mother forgave her. The thought Carina had put behind it. The last time I was in her home, it hung proudly on the main living room wall among all the fine art. I’m sure it’s still there. “I need you to do it again.” I lean out so I can look into her eyes. I touch her chest. “I need you to take all that fear and turn it into something else.” I can’t bear to watch her fall apart on me. I have never seen her like this.
Carina’s gaze darts to the door, and moisture causes a shine across her irises as she fights with her emotions. When she finally looks back at me, she nods, her hands wrapping the blanket tighter around her frame. Her small agreement will have to do for now. But I know I can’t stay in this moment with Carina. We need to get out of here.
“Someone on the street will notice the body. We need to leave.” I chew on my bottom lip. “I can’t guarantee they’re not still there…that they won’t try to take a shot at us as we leave. I think we—”
Carina has gone quiet again. But she’s more alert as her gaze bounces around the space before it lands on me. The reluctant smile I just provoked is nowhere in sight. The full reality is sinking in, and she pulls the blanket even tighter. “I think it’s time to pull in some help, Luca.”
I stop in my pacing and narrow my gaze on her. “We don’t have a clue who we can trust, Carina.”
She tilts her head at me. “What the fuck did you do?”
“Me?” I point at myself in shock. “Don’t you mean you? This is all about you, Carina.” I’ve already told her there’s a price on her head.
She half laughs. “Never about you, Luca. Nothing ever is.” Bitterness twists her lips, and it makes me pause. Carina isn’t done.
“Go run, Luca. Like you always do.”
I’m tempted to tell her to suck it up and that we need to leave, but there’s a look of sheer panic in her eyes. Like she needs this, and so for the first time, I don’t run. I stand in front of her. “Say what you need to say.” I speak low.
Carina shrugs off the blanket. It pools at her feet like a second skin. “You just always do what you want. You always make things more difficult for me.”
