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Not because I was into him. Not at all.
It just seemed like I had a thing for the tall, muscular guys with beards and dark hair. But in my defense, what girl was immune to that?
Exactly. No one.
“Since it’s in the gutter,” she said, pulling me from my thoughts. “What else have you thought about? Have you already fantasized about accidentally walking in on him while he’s in the shower? He’d say, well, since you’re already in here, you might as well get in, too. And then you’ll get it on—”
“Lil, you can’t say shit like that,” I groaned.
“Whatever,” she laughed. “Like you haven’t thought about it.”
“I haven’t—”
“Rae. Come on.” I snapped my mouth shut. I definitelyneverthought about it. Not with him. Not now. Not ever.
Yeah, it was a total lie. But I could barely admit it to myself. There was no way I could admit it out loud. Post-nut clarity was a very real thing. Every time I came while thinking of him bending me over and fucking me until he’d gotten his fill, the guilt set in and I wanted to take everything back. Even if it was just in my own head and no one would ever know, it still made me feel like an absolute perv.
My phone vibrated, and I glanced down at it, stifling a groan. A text from Benji.
Benji:
I heard you’re not working here anymore.
Benji:
I’m gonna miss seeing you every day.
I couldn’t hold the groan back anymore, and Lily stopped talking about whatever she was talking about. Which was a miracle in itself.
“What?” she asked.
“Benji just texted me.”
“Benji?”
“From high school.” There was another pause, then she let out a high-pitched squeal.
“Why the fuck do you have Benji-from-high-school’s number?” she asked. “And, more importantly,whyis he texting you?”
“He’s working at the diner,” I explained, still staring at the texts.
“Uh-huh. And?”
“And nothing,” I sighed. “We kinda hit it off. He asked for my number. I gave it to him. Not a big deal.”
“Mhm.” I knew what that meant—whatever you say, Rae. But I totally don’t believe you. “So, he’s the one you’re fantasizing about?”
“Lil!” I groaned.
“You’ve been in a dry spell for like a year,” she said. “You deserve to get laid.”
“I’m not sleeping with Elliot.”
“Whoa,” Lily laughed. “Who said anything about that?”
“Fuck off,” I grumbled, but it lacked any heat. She let out another laugh and I shook my head, smiling to myself.
Meredith was my sister by blood, but Lily was my sister by choice. She got on my nerves more than anyone in the world, but I’d take a bullet for her, and I knew she’d do the same for me.
