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When he disappears around the corner, I turn around and glare at my big, cold, perfectly-made bed.
Another day, another night of loneliness.I know I won’t sleep a wink tonight.
I should be used to it by now, but this sharp painful thing in my chest is strangely new. Or, well…newish.
Ugh. I know life’s not fair. But damn, can’t a girl catch a break every once in a while? My heart is in an endless battle with my head. Four years is a long time to be at war with yourself.
My heart wants Davis. It would do anything to have him back, even just for a fleeting moment.
But my head knows better. My head knows that getting Davis back would require me to face the ugly consequences of my ugly past.
Thepastthat I’m looking at right now.
I have that old shoe box in my lap again, pouring over all of the documentation. And it’s not just my mugshot.
Photocopies of all the social worker reports over the years.
Clear photos of my mother standing around with known drug dealers and paperwork documenting each of her many stints in rehab.
A series of surveillance camera images of a blonde who looks exactly like me. I flinch at the images of my younger sister going from aisle to aisle in a convenience store, tucking items into her backpack. Baby formula. Diapers.Dry soup and pasta.
Goddammit, Stacey.
I took the fall for that one.
* * *
I cutmy engine in a parking spot at the gas station and pull out my phone. Grinning, I type out a text message to my husband.
Me: Lasagna or chicken Alfredo for dinner? That is the question
We’re fully stocked up on groceries. We have all the ingredients for either recipe. So I guess it just comes down to what Davis is in the mood for tonight.
His response doesn’t take long.
Davis: Whichever. Doesn’t matter
Davis: As long as your pussy is for dessert
I feel my skin light up from the inside with a full-body blush.
They say that the flirting eventually starts to die in relationships, when you’ve been together for too long. But with Davis everything still feels brand new, even a decade into our relationship. Life hasn’t always been easy but getting to love my best friend every day is my most cherished gift.
Me: You can have my pussy for dessert. I’m getting myself ice cream [laughing emoji]
Davis: Let me guess. You’re on the other side of town, aren’t you?
Me: You guessed right
The gas station convenience store right around the corner from my mother’s house is the only store in Honey Hill that sells my favorite strawberry swirl ice cream.
Davis: I’m pretty sure we still have a tub of strawberry swirl ice cream in the freezer at home. I picked up one for you when I was patrolling that side of town the other day
Alana: Are you sure? I didn’t want to take any chances
Davis: Fine. Buy another one. But hurry up over there, ice cream head. I’m dying to see you
Despite my smile, I roll my eyes.
