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“I’m not saying to give up Max. He’s my grandbaby. I’m just saying that maybe if you had dinner with Asher, gave him a little hope, then perhaps you could get more flies with honey…”
“I am never going out with Asher again,” she railed tearfully, staring at her mother. “I never want totalkto him ever again! He’s the one that pushed for me to get rid of the pregnancy, and we fought terribly all the time. I don’t want to deal with Asher. I shouldn’t have ever married him. That was some naïve girl who…”
“Maddie, I’m on your side,” her mother interrupted. “I’m just trying to get him to give you a break for a little while. I thought maybe if you played his game and…”
“No, Mom. I can’t. I’d rather do anything else than give Asher an opening. Max is my son and I’m not giving him up without a fight. Even if I lose, Asher will never be in my life again.”
She stared at her mother firmly and saw her nod finally.
“I just hate to have my pretty girl so upset,” her mother whispered. “And this is the one time that I don’t know how to help you, you know? It’s hard seeing your child suffer.”
“Mom, I know,” Maddie admitted tearfully. “I don’t know what to do right now, and need to double-back so I can think. There has to be some solution, some avenue I haven’t addressed, some ‘Hail Mary’ out there that I need to grasp at and make it work somehow.”
She stared at her ex-husband walking out of the courthouse with his attorney, watching him shake his hand, and feeling a sense of loathing seep into her soul. No, hate was not something she ever wanted to grow and fester in her, because it was a poison… but Asher was there, pushing her, and she was losing herself in the process.
She wanted to laugh, smile, be content once more. Her last two years since Max was born and the divorce was finalized had been a nightmare from which she couldn’t seem to wake up.
“I just want to go home and think,” she whispered painfully, putting her car in gear and driving towards her mother’s house to drop her off so she could be alone.
* * *
Hours later,staring at sheets of paper that had notes scribbled all over them, items crossed off the checklist, a series of phone numbers to call to find a new pediatrician, and a list of ‘Hail Mary’ passes that would never, ever happen… she emailed Eric.
Dear Eric,
Let me apologize first for not writing back… and beg openly for that ‘un-judgmental ear’ you offered.
I need that ear badly.
I’m struggling and I don’t know what to do. I keep going through things in my mind, trying to work out all these avenues, and I think I need a fresh perspective, because my brain cannot wrap around this nightmare that I’m drowning in… and I cannot lose my son.
I’m sorry I didn’t write back right away – I was prepping for court and should have listened to your advice. This is me, shoveling in ‘humble pie’ with a backhoe, asking for that help.
I know this is weird, we don’t know each other, but do you ever get a chance to make phone calls so I can talk to someone? Fair warning, I’ll be emotional, but I need to vent to someone outside of my family to get a different outlook… and well, you’re it.
If you can make phone calls or receive them – let me know. My cell number is listed at the bottom, or you can reply with your phone number, and I’ll call you.
Heck with keeping this on paper, pen pal… I need a real friend.
Sincerely,
Madison
* * *
Five days later,just as Madison was getting ready to go to bed, her cell phone rang. Max had a runny nose and had taken a step today on his own before falling down, banging his chin on her knee. She’d held him as he cried… and they both ended up sobbing, until he finally fell asleep.
Yeah, she was a mess and falling apart.
“Hello?” she answered, frustrated that whoever it was – they were calling at almost eleven at night.
“Madison?”
A man’s voice was on the other end of the line, and she hesitated, almost expecting it to be the State Police to say that there had been an accident, or Asher finding a new way to torture her mentally. She half-expected Eric to not call or write – or at least give her the silent treatment back in return… yet it was him.
“Madison – it’s Eric,” he began again. “What’s going on? Talk to me.”
“Hey,” she whispered tearfully, feeling overwhelmed with such gratitude and disbelief. “I, ah, oh gosh… thank you,” she breathed, and was rewarded with a deep chuckle.
