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Again, spectacular.
As they circled back around, she felt Ian’s eyes on her as she looked into the master bedroom. Tray ceilings, two closets, and a strange circular nook that caught her attention, realizing this was the brick ‘turret’ she’d seen from the street that made it look like a castle.
Pulling away from him, she walked over and stared in disbelief at the hand-painted storks on the wooden walls, implying it was a nook for a nursery. She drew in a shaky breath, closing her eyes, and could practically hear the echoes of someone once softly singing to a baby in this room.
Ian put his hand on her shoulder silently, and she nodded, thinking he was asking her to move on. Instead, he stopped her.
“June?” his voice was achingly gentle as she looked up at him. His eyes met hers and she felt a sting in the back of her throat, unable to voice what was going through her mind.
She would never have any of this.
No moments holding a baby, no home full of love or laughter, no children racing around or shouting, and no one to look at her… like Ian was right now, unless she came to terms with her past and opened herself up to a future someday.
“I am here for you… always,” he said softly, moving his hand slowly upwards to cradle her cheek. “Now, ten years from now, or in fifty years – I am here, if you need to talk, scream, shout, or cry wretchedly to someone you can trust…?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she interrupted tearfully, staring at him, putting her hand on his wrist where he was touching her cheek with his thumb. “I’m not ready.”
“Then we won’t,” he murmured, his eyes holding hers. “It’s that simple.”
“Is it?”
“It can be,” he offered and moved to her side, slipping his arm around her waist in a comforting manner. “Let’s finish the tour of the upper floors and then go see our furry girl.”
The upper floors were obviously children’s rooms. The entire house had been filled with love at one point. Two of the bedrooms shared a bathroom that had a bright, primary colored theme to it. There was a play area opposite of the ‘bridge’ that went over the entryway… and silently, in her mind, she could see mischievous children dropping their action figures down to the floor below.
Yes, this was a house to be lived in…
“Let’s go,” she said simply, feeling wretched.
“Alright,” he agreed quietly, and she felt his eyes on her again. “Do you mind me asking if you had a favorite spot? What do you think of it overall?”
“It’s lovely.”
“And your favorite spot?”
“We should go,” she countered and pulled away – only for him to move and stand right in front of her, his eyes concerned and curious. “I told the other realtor ten minutes, and I’m pretty sure that is up.”
“We can talk as we walk…”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“I think there might be, but you’re scared – and maybe that was how Mark felt about his addiction?” he said softly, looking at her as she drew back, emotionally struck. There was a painful fury that tore through her as she stared at him, her throat closing off and tears welling up immediately.
“Gimme everything you’ve got, my sweet Minx,” Ian said openly, reaching out to touch her cheek and she shoved his hand away.
“Don’t you dare psycho-analyze me or comment on…” she began, and then drew up as a ragged sob tore through her. “How dare you!”
“What’s your favorite room?” he pushed and reached for her again.
“Leave me alone…”
“Nope,” he said, drawing her close, and June immediately began to struggle. “It’s one word. You can tell me anything – and I’m supposed to be able to talk to you, remember?”
“So, you are going to throw my words in my face?”
“Just say it,” he pressed. “Say it, and let’s get it all out here, together.”
She stared at him and felt something splinter within her as she looked in his eyes, feeling herself falling apart – and desperately waiting for some unknown strength within her to yank everything back together… and it wasn’t happening.
