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I swallow thickly, placing the photo back in the box. There’s a voice in the back of my mind that says he would never be able to look at me like that, and it’s in that moment, when I start playing the comparison game with his dead wife, that I know my feelings might be larger than I realize.
Nobody will ever win in a messy game of comparison with someone who has passed away, so I quickly close the box and shove it back in the corner of the closet, knowing I should remind Colton they’re in there so they can be put somewhere safe for Teddy to have when he’s a bit older.
That’s when an idea comes to mind. A fantastic idea that I might be able to pull off in time for Teddy’s birthday in a few weeks.
Putting my irrational jealousy aside, I tug the box forward and begin to carefully sort through the images, looking for anything I think might tell the story I want to tell.
Eventually, I have to set the project aside when I hear Teddy moving around in his bedroom, but my excitement is palpable, and it carries through the rest of the day and into the intense story time I have with Colton once he’s home and I can tell him all about last night.
“You seriously sat outside his room and waited?” Colton asks me as Teddy plays with his toys in the living room and I’m preparing dinner.
His face is incredulous but in a pleased way.
I lift a shoulder. “I wanted to earn my keep, Mr. Palmer,” I tell him, only somewhat joking. “I will solve this nighttime problem if it’s the last thing I do.”
Colton chuckles and holds his hands up. “Alright, alright. Well, I’m not going to deny the amazing sleep I got last night because I wasn’t woken up at three and then kicked constantly for the rest of the early morning. Teddy might be tiny, but his legs are strong.”
I pull down plates for us and set the table while Colton heads off to change into more comfortable clothing, and then the three of us sit down for dinner. It’s part of the new contract we sorted out, that I handle weekday dinners. We also added all household laundry, though I was already doing my own and Teddy’s so I can’t imagine adding Colton’s to the mix will be that much more difficult.
“Hey listen, I know we settled on you being around on Friday nights so I could have a night out if I want to, but I’m wondering if that can be a little flexible.”
My fork cuts into my enchilada, and I scoop up some rice and beans as well.
“Sure, what do you mean?”
“Well, apparently there’s this softball league for the Department of Education, and when Greg found out about my experience, he practically begged me to join in.”
“Who’s Greg?”
“One of the other teachers at the school.”
I nod. “Yeah, I don’t mind being available another night so you can go play.”
Colton grins, and I have to say, he looks really excited.
“Awesome. They play on Wednesday evenings, is that alright?”
I nod again, my lips tilting up at the continued excitement Colton is showing right now.
“You really like baseball, huh?” I ask him between bites of dinner.
He bobs his head, finishing up his own bite before speaking. “Yeah. I used to play in college. Nothing special.”
“Well, I tried out for the swim team at UCSB and didn’t make it, and I was one of the best swimmers at Sandalwood Secondary,” I tell him. “Playing a sport in college is no joke.”
Colton glances at me. “I’m just now realizing you went to school at the place I teach.”
“Yup.”
“Did you know a teacher named Harriet something? She was the—”
“History teacher! Oh my gosh, yes, I loved her. Mrs. Weathers. Wow, that’s a blast from the past.”
We continue on, chatting like that about a million things that feel mundane and regular and nothing special. But at the same time, it’s one of the best meals I’ve had in a long time. I can’t remember the last time I sat down to a home-cooked dinner and discussed the day with someone.
This is what I imagine it feels like to have a family. A place to call home. And I have to admit, it feels every bit as good as I assumed it would.
chapter thirteen
