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“Mommy!! See!” Ava screamed in excitement as she returned with another little train. It was from the train set Vivian bought her for her birthday. She loved the sounds the trains made. I grabbed her arm and held her firmly so that I could take a look at her face and observe her. She had a runny nose.
I reached for my handbag and took wipes out of it and wiped her nose. She struggled to free herself from my hold and then ran back inside to her room. I laughed and went to my room to change out of my work clothes.
When I was done, I went into the kitchen and made some blueberry pancakes for Ava, put her in her chair and watched her eat. She made a mess of the food but she eventually finished eating. I cleaned up the mess she made and put her in front of the TV for a cartoon.
My drawing board was in a corner of the sitting room. I retrieved it and continued with a drawing I started two nights ago while also putting an eye on Ava. The sound of a bunch of keys jingling behind the door notified me of Vivian’s return. It was almost 9 p.m.
“Hello, everybody!” she said as she walked in. Ava got up from where she sat and ran into her aunt’s embrace. Vivian lifted her up and played with her for a few minutes before kissing her on her cheek and putting her back on the couch where she was watching TV.
“Hi, you,” Vivian said to me and hugged me from the side. “You’re still working on this?” she asked, looking at my drawing.
“Sadly, I am. If I were in my element, I would have been done with it by now.”
“Are you going to paint it?” She asked.
“I don’t know yet. Let me finish with the drawing first.”
“What’s for dinner?” Vivian asked, heading into the kitchen.
“I have no idea. Maybe ramen. I haven’t eaten either.”
“Let me change out of these. I’ll make us some ramen,” Vivian said and went into her room. After a few minutes, she came back out into the sitting room and looked over at Ava. I looked in her direction, she was asleep.
“That was fast,” I said, as I carried her up into her room. Slowly, I changed her clothes carefully to avoid waking her up and put her in her bed. For a few minutes, I stood by her bed and stared at her little face as she slept peacefully. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for this little human that had become my world. Three years of knowing her and it had been a blessing being her mother. As I watched her peacefully asleep, I realized how much she looked like her father. Her eyebrows were as full as his and although she had my dimples, she had her father’s dark hair and brown eyes.
I turned off the lights and went back into the sitting room. The drawing was beginning to come together as I looked at it now. It was the drawing of a Japanese girl in her cultural attire with an umbrella over her head, standing under the rain. I sat back down and started shading the dress the girl was wearing.
Vivian came out with two bowls of steaming hot, soupy ramen. It’s the way we both loved to eat ramen ever since we were younger. We also loved it spicy and I could perceive the pepper as she handed me a bowl.
“Thank you,” I said, collecting it and going over to the couch. Vivian placed her food on the center table and went back into the kitchen. She returned with two bottles of water and handed one to me before she sat down.
I picked up the remote and put on the show we were currently watching, Riverdale. As we ate, Vivian said,
“That reminds me, that colleague of mine, Gerald. You remember him, right?” she asked in a mocking tone.
I knew exactly who she was talking about. He worked at her company and met me at their last Christmas party and since then, he’d been begging Vivian to set us up. “I don’t know who that is,” I said, shrugging.
“Val, don’t be like that. You know Gerald and how much he likes you. He sends his greetings.”
“Why do you keep telling me these things he sends you to tell me? You know it will change nothing.”
“Why not? You should open your mind to relationships; Gerald is a great guy. He is very calm and respectful. He also makes really good money. He seems like the complete package if you ask me.” She said.
“Technically, I didn’t ask you,” I said, shaking my head; I still wasn’t interested. Vivian herself got into a relationship sometime last year. She met her boyfriend, Mike, on a business trip to Boston but they both lived and worked in Chicago. Mike works in a construction company as the head of operations and he is always proud to wear her on his arm like expensive jewelry.
“I am not interested in a relationship. At least, not now. Ava is still very young, and I don’t want to introduce her to any man or expose her to a random stranger before she starts asking questions about her father.”
“You know you cannot avoid that conversation with her. When she starts school and starts relating with other children, the question will come up.”
I sighed. “Yes, I know and I’ll be prepared but until then, I don’t want to introduce her to anyone. I don’t want to confuse her.”
“Is that really the reason you don’t want any relationship or are you just afraid to open up to someone? I mean, it’s been a while since you’ve been in any serious relationship.”
“Viv, can we talk about something else?” I asked.
‘No, we cannot. You do this all the time. Anytime the conversation is relationship related, you chicken out.”
“I… I’m not ready. I’m not.” I said and she nodded.
