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I told her about seeing him, about my surprise when I saw him. I told her about the shock and disbelief I had felt, and seeing the guilt on Maya’s face which made me snap.
Catherine listened patiently, asking questions and offering reassurance. "It's natural to feel overwhelmed," she said. "But you're not alone in this. There are resources available to help you navigate this situation, and we can work together to figure out what steps to take next."
I felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe I didn't have to face this alone. Maybe Catherine could help me make sense of the jumbled mess in my head.
"Thank you, Catherine," I said. "I don't know what I'd do without you."
"You don't have to do anything alone," she said firmly. "I'm here for you, whatever you need. But right now, the most important thing is for you to take care of yourself. Do something that makes you feel good. Take a walk, watch a movie, or read a book. Just give yourself some space to breathe."
I nodded, feeling a sense of relief. "Okay. I'll try."
"That's all I can ask," Catherine said. "Remember, Jack. You're not alone. I have a feeling that you're going to get through this with Maya and Eli just fine."
I hung up the phone, feeling a sense of gratitude for Catherine that I couldn't put into words. All I needed to do now was to spend time with Eli, so I needed to convince Maya to let me see him. Wait, I was so careful not to mention names with Catherine. How did she know?
Chapter 15
Maya
ThefightwithJackhad left me shaken and upset. I paced around the living room, my heart racing, mind spinning.
I tried to focus on my breathing, but my chest felt tight like I was being squeezed by a vice. I knew I needed to calm down, to find a way to make things right with Jack. But how?
I stopped pacing and sat down on the couch, resting my head in my hands. My phone lay on the coffee table in front of me, silent and still. I picked it up, willing it to ring, to vibrate with a message from Jack, but it remained stubbornly silent.
I took a deep breath and tried to think, dropping my head into my hands. A deep sob ripped from my chest.
What was I thinking pulling a stunt like that on Jack?
He was right. I should have told him about Eli years ago. Before Eli was even born, but certainly at the very least, after he was born. Jack had a right to know he was afather. He had a right tobea father if he wanted to be one.
Jack would have been amazing with Eli when he was younger.
I closed my eyes and pictured the scene. I could so easily see Jack with Eli at the park. Jack tossed Eli gently in the air. Jack holding Eli in his arms for the first time…
My chest burned, and acid churned in my stomach.
I pressed my hand to my stomach and saw another picture of Jack: Pure anger on his face as he stormed away from me.
The damage was done. And it was a lot of damage. Both of our lives were torn apart like a tornado ripped through us, and shrapnel lay all around us. I had no idea how to even begin rebuilding.
Every idea that came to me seemed weak and uninspired.
I caused this.
These weremychoices.
There was the acid again.
Dinner, gifts, grand gestures, they all seemed so…meaningless.
And what if he didn’t want to see me or talk to me ever again? Could I blame him?
There was only one way to find out, and that was to text him.
So I tried, and twenty minutes later, there was nothing. No call, no return text, just a booming silence. He usually responded to my texts fairly quickly.
I glanced at the clock on the oven. It was already past midnight. A whole lifetime had passed since Jack left this afternoon. Eli had come home. We’d had dinner, and he’d gone to bed.
