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“Why are you running?” Hazel shot him a funny look. “You never run. I didn’t even think it was a speed possible for you.”
“Ha ha,” he snorted, though he sounded out of breath. “I just saw you running toward Cheyenne, and thought it must be something serious.”
“I really just need some air, that’s all.” I tried to shut the door, but Hazel caught it, concern all over her face.
“What happened?”
I hesitated, both Hazel and Blake staring at me with a heavy amount of concern on their faces. “I just...” I looked away from them both, the new car scent filling my nostrils. I had never owned a vehicle that smelled like that—and it actually caught me by surprise for a moment, driving the point home. “I don’t think I fit in here.”
“You fit in perfect,” Hazel countered, hanging onto the door. “You fit in better than just about anyone else ever has. I don’t understand where this is coming from. Did things not go well with Roanie? We can help you with your horsemanship skills. It takes time, but I have no doubt that you’ll get it.”
“This has nothing to do with the horse.” I shook my head. “Someone had already taken the ribbons and bows out of her hair. I was just... I overheard some people talking in the tack room,” my voice broke as fresh hurt boiled in my chest.
“What do you mean? Who?” Blake demanded, his voice growing stern. “Was it Wade?”
“I don’t knowwhoit was—other than it wasn’t Wade. It was probably some of the hands, but they were just saying I used Wade, trapped him. They said some other things, too, but I just... I just need air. I thought I would go for a drive, and then I could come back and deal with it.”
“We just need to find Wade and then grab all the hands,” Blake argued. “It’s completely unacceptable to talk shit about anyone in the house. You haven’t done anything wrong, Cheyenne.”
“But they’re right,” I cried, my head falling to my hands. “I’m rough around the edges, and I don’t deserve to have a life like this.”
“No, stop,” Hazel’s voice strained. “That’s not true at all.”
“Everyone thinks I’m a gold digger. I’m starting to wonder if Wade thinks that about me, too. They said he’s just blinded, but he’ll come around to the idea.”
“Whosaid this shit?” Blake exasperated, throwing his hands up. “They need to be fucking fired right on the spot for this shit!”
“I don’t want to start anything,” I said quickly, reaching for my seatbelt. “All I want to do is take a drive and clear my head. I’m not in the right mindset to deal with everything, and I don’t want to go bothering Wade anyway. This has just been an overwhelming day.”
“I really don’t think you should...” The concern in Hazel’s voice was palpable, and while I understood, Ireallyneeded to get away from everything.
“Please don’t worry,” I urged, giving her a smile and wiping the tears from my face. “I just want to get a better hold on myself—maybe even call my sister? She doesn’t know anything, and I want to tell her. I’m leaving Takoda here, so no one has to worry. I’m not skipping town.”
“Well, I guess that’s true...” Hazel still didn’t sound convinced, however, eyeing Blake—like she was expecting him to step in and do something.
“The Tahoe shouldn’t break down like her van,” he reasoned, and Hazel rolled her eyes. “Just try and stay close. If it starts raining, youreallyshould get back here. That’ll give me some time to hunt down Wade and tell him what’s happened. He’s going to be pissed. I know he will.”
My stomach tightened. “Or it’ll make him think the same way.” My voice felt heavy as I said my thoughts aloud, avoiding Hazel and Blake’s eyes. I know that they were adamant that Wade didn’t feel that way...
But ithadbeen quite the one-eighty for him.
“I promise I’ll be back.” I reached for the door, tugging it out of Hazel’s grip.
“Fine.” She released her grip, but the disapproval was written all over her face. “But you be safe, Chey.Please.I know that it feels big right now, but we can sort it all out here. You’re family.”
I nodded, slamming the door and starting the engine. I know they meant well—and theydidfeel like family––but it didn’t change the fact that the ranch hands had a point. I didn’tfit inwith the family.
And I was feeling that at the moment.
My hands gripped the steering wheel so tight that they cramped as I backed out and headed down the driveway. Hazel and Blake stood there in the gravel, watching me as I pulled away. It was like they thought I was never coming back at all, but that wasn’t the truth.
I mean, I left Takoda there. I had no intention of just taking off and leaving—even if it had its own appeal. In the present moment, it might seem like the easy way out, and maybe even was, but in the long term, it would only make things harder.
Everything will be fine.
But it didn’tfeelthat way. It felt as though the bubble I had been living in had burst, leaving me with the reality ofwhoI was.
I was Cheyenne Mato, the poor girl from the Indian Reservation in South Dakota. I didn’t have an inheritance—unless my parents’ substance abuse could be considered one. And if it could, I didn’t fucking want it.
