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She smiles. “Of course.” She kisses us both before going back into Kerian’s room.
I sit back, rubbing my full belly. “I like Logan.”
“I do too.” He rubs his jaw. “I feel like I need to say something.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, frowning. I usually don’t see Kerian so hesitant.
“I didn’t fully grasp the things you went through. We didn’t talk about it when you shared it with us. It hit me when I was in those woods, feeling the desperation of the shifters and the isolation they endured. I have so much respect for the man you are now.” He turns to me, pride shining bright. “I am honored to have you in this pack, as my brother, and in this partnership with our mate.”
“Fuck, Kerian. We don’t have to talk about this.” I shift uncomfortably.
“We do. When you came back, we didn’t talk; we fell back into our roles. I want everything to be clear and open before we take this next leap with Ava.” He leans on the counter.
I clear my throat. “It was hell. There were days I didn’t know if I could continue. I missed my parents. I missed you and my life here. I had no hope of someone coming for me; no one knew I was in a cage. Everyone thought I was safe with my uncle.”
“I should have known. I should have felt it.” His expression is wracked with guilt.
“How could you?” I ask.
“I don’t know. We did everything together, and we were so close, I should have felt it inside,” he says, pounding his chest.
“Brother, you can’t think that way,” I say, sighing. “You have enough to deal with here. All the shit you went through was overwhelming.”
“It’s difficult.” His jaw clenches. “Seeing Ava in those woods fucked with me. I pictured you. If I had questioned the reasons why you didn’t call or write or visit . . .”
“Who would you ask? The man that was masquerading as your grandfather? He would have brushed off your concern. He didn’t want to let you look for your sister. Why would he let you search for me?” I put my hand on his shoulder. “You have to forgive yourself.”
“I don’t know how to do that.”
“Kerian, you have always taken on the world's problems. You are just a man. A good one, but just a man. You can’t control the world.” I squeeze his shoulder.
“Why the fuck not?” he asks with a smirk.
“Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way.” I chuckle. “You’ve always been the responsible one. You never questioned my crazy ideas or my weird quirks. When we were kids, you followed me around to make sure I didn’t get hurt.”
“I still had some fun too.”
“I know, but you were always looking out for me. You found ways to steer me away from the idiotic things I thought would be a blast, but in reality, I was lucky you pulled me back from them.” I fold my arms. “I saw what your grandfather was doing to you. I liked that I could take the pain from your eyes. I also liked that you gave a shit.”
“I always tried to hide that from you,” he mutters.
“You did mostly, but I can read you well.”
“So, we were helping each other,” he says.
“We were. We still are. I didn’t want to tell you what happened to me. Logan talked about shame, and I understand that. I was ashamed. I quit fighting for freedom. I gave up. I swore I wouldn't tell you. I didn’t want to see the disappointment I was sure you would feel,” I admit.
“Never,” he says harshly. “I would never be disappointed in you.”
“When I realized Ava was my mate too, I panicked for a minute.” I rub my neck. “I thought, what if I deny it? What if I let you have her? I never wanted a mate. I didn’t think a woman would want me for more than a night.”
“What changed?” he asks.
“I looked into her eyes and realized I needed her. My world fell into place. I wanted to be what she needed, too. I had no doubt you would be the perfect mate for her,” I confess.
“We are the perfect mates for her. She will make us better, and we will do whatever we have to do to love her how she deserves to be loved,” he says fiercely.
“I do love her, I mean,” I whisper. “I knew I would. I didn’t expect it in return; just maybe she would like being with me.”
