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After squirming and shoving myself into the meat, something grabbed me and wrapped itself around me. It was like a door closing with a slam as a wholly different set of sensations burst into me, of wet and cold and the damned chair still under my back.
My throat burned as I coughed. Hands grabbed me as Walker stared down into my face, moisture gleaming at the corners of his eyes. “You came back,” he whispered.
All of a sudden I was in a hug so tight I gasped. His arms loosened a fraction so I could breathe.
Tears rolled down my face as I realized what I’d done. I’d almost left this life. I’d almost left Walker and Dimitri. I almost lost everything and became a creature of wind and lighting, a power that nothing could bind or really harm. Even now, I could hear the elfsong with crystal clarity, and the memory of freedom tore at me.
It wasn’t worth losing my son, no matter how alluring it was.
Or the man who held me like I was a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean. He’d deceived me, and he was going to explain why, and do a lot of groveling in the future. In this moment, though, with the love and desperate happiness pouring into me at his touch, I simply returned the embrace.
The door barring me from my power was shattered, but I could choose to remain in a body. And I could choose to remember how to love. “I would not wish any companion in the world but you. ” My last word was a cough as he squeezed again.
Finally, I got the last word with a quote. Shakespeare had a quote for everything.
TWELVE
Alys
When Walker’s arms finally loosened, I leaned against his chest. The rain had slackened to occasional drops, allowing us to see further than a few feet, though the lightning in the clouds above continued to arc and flare. Charred corpses surrounded us, steaming in the light rainfall. My nose was clogged from crying, for which I was thankful.
Returning to my body had been hard, but I was glad I'd done it. Regret at leaving the existence as an elf still at me, but each moment made it more and more distant. Becoming an elf was the death of everything that made me what I am. A creature with no weakness, no vulnerability, no depth of emotion-it sounded like a good deal but it wasn't what I wanted.
Not when it meant that I would lose everything I loved. Including the capacity to love. The thought of Dimitri as only an abstract burden chilled me. I've been willing to consider coaxing him to change so that I wouldn't have to worry about him. Was that how his father felt about me? It made his desire for children even more difficult to understand.
I shifted in the circle of Walker's arms so that I could see our surroundings. Kara huddled on the ground, kneeling, her hands covering her face. Burns ran up her arm in a strange tree-like shape. Tears trickled between her fingers as Chance’s hands moved over the burn. Her shirt was torn open, probably by Chance. Her fear and grief layered over physical pain.
Guilt stabbed through me. I’d done that, even if I hadn’t really been myself.
“Walker, Kara’s hurt.”
His arms loosened and he moved to her side. Relief lightened the texture of the emotions around her as she raised her head and saw me. Walker crouched by her, laying his fingertips on her forehead.
Her pain receded.
The change touched me; I hadn’t known she cared for me that much. And I’d hurt her, ripping her thoughts from her.
So many emotions swirled around me, it was hard to separate whose belonged to who. Walker’s touch steadied me, though it made it hard to block out his thoughts.I almost lost her keptrepeating, along withshe’s not safe in the Guildandhow do I finagle her out of here?
Those thoughts made a little bubble of joy burst in my heart.
Joan gazed a little to the right of us, her reserve of magic a still cloud around her. Cool watchfulness dominated her emotions, a trace of regret. An ingathering of power, as she turned back to face me. Her hands were clasped in front of her, the slight breeze stirring the tatters of her skirt and the short curls of her pale hair. It had grown an amazing amount from the stubble she’d had only days ago. The neutral stance didn’t conceal her intent. She’d try to kill me if I made an aggressive move. I sighed and settled against Walker’s shoulder.
Chance joined her, hope winding through anger and regret, his resolve twinned to Joan’s.
“If you’re going to try to bind me or attack me, your best bet is now. I’m still loosely in my skin.” I smiled at him.
I felt nothing from Joan, no thoughts, but the other two made up for it.
Pure relief from Kara,Thanks be she’s ok. Everything will be fine now. We need to go home and tell Mother and Father.
Hope flared brighter in Chance.No elf understands sarcasm, she’s back. Alys, I’m going to slap you silly for scaring me like that.
I snorted. “You can try.”
He raised a brow, then closed his eyes, concentrating. The thoughts and emotions became much quieter, so much so I could ignore them. “Is this better?”
“Yes. Thank you.” While it was interesting to hear what they were thinking, I could live without the babble. “Who the hell had the bright idea to bring Kara here? She’s only sixteen, and you knew you were heading into an area infested with mage-Ridden!”
