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“Alright...here goes nothing,” I exhaled, my heart pounding in anticipation of retrieving the fabled weapon. My body was battered and bruised from our journey. All I really wanted was a hot bubble bath and a bucket of perfectly chilled champagne.
Even so, I couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement at the prospect of finally getting the sword. Once I had it, I could defeat that psycho bitch Red Queen and her stupid Jabberwocky and restore balance to this demented realm.
Then I’d get my damned bubble bath.
"Before we proceed, you should know," Hatter began, his voice wavering slightly as he spoke, “neither Chess nor myself can physically retrieve the sword for you, Alice. It must be you who claims it. You and you alone."
“That figures,” I scoffed, tossing my tangled blonde hair over my bloody shoulder.
I stepped forward and reached into the mouth for the sword, then saw a bright flash of blinding blue light. I was flung backwards so hard and so fast that I landed about ten feet behind the guys.
Hatter let out a low whistle as they rushed over to my side.
“What the hell just happened?” I groaned from the ground as they pulled me up to sit. The scent of ozone filled my nose, and my body hummed with electricity.
“It would seem that you touched a protective charm,” Chess explained while helping me up to my feet.
“Holy fucking hearts and roses...I’d forgotten all about that,” said Hatter while he curled an arm around my waist to keep me stable. “At least you didn’t get hurt too bad.”
“Define ‘too bad,’” I growled from his side.
“You’re still in one piece,” Hatter explained. “That means you’re not hurt too bad.”
I begged to differ.
My left knee was killing me, and I’d scraped the shit out of my left hand and my left calf. I probably would’ve broken my ankle if I wasn’t wearing the boots Chess had given me.
I stooped down and picked up one of the arrows that hadn’t landed in my chess pawn shield from earlier. Then I limped over to the stone wall where the Vorpal Sword sat in the magical mouth.
Using the arrow like a pointer, I held the end with the feathers and carefully reached forward until the tip found the magical force field. Streaks of blue electricity sparked and zigzagged across the opening of the mouth, running over the entire surface of the shield.
My shoulders slumped as I stared hopelessly at the shimmering barrier. It seemed to hum with evil intent, and I realized there was no way I was getting through this thing.
Not unless I wanted to risk breaking every bone in my body. I was pretty sure I’d just fractured my kneecap.
I stood there clutching the arrow in my right hand, feeling the weight of defeat pressing down upon me, when a sudden glint in Hatter's eyes caught my attention. The laugh lines on his face seemed to smooth as a rare moment of pure clarity washed over him.
"Wait," he said, his voice calm and steady. "Alice, do you recall that riddle I told you during the tea party?"
I frowned, trying to summon the memory through the haze of debauchery and intoxication. I’d heard tons of riddles that night, but one in particular had burrowed into my thoughts, refusing to let go, because nobody had solved it.
"Is it the one about having a long, stiff shaft?" I asked offhandedly while I twirled the arrow in my fingers.
“That’s the one,” Hatter nodded, his gaze intense. "I remember now - the Vorpal Sword is held in place by a riddle spell. Solve the riddle, claim the sword. I tell so many riddles that I was afraid I’d forget which one would free the sword, so I wrote it down. Look.”
Chess and I turned our heads to the stone doors where Hatter was pointing. The strange symbols pulsated and danced, then organized themselves into a single line.
“I have a long, stiff shaft,” Chess read out loud. “My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. What am I?”
“That’s actually what it says up there?” I asked dubiously.
“It most certainly is,” he replied. “That’s the riddle that will free the sword.”
"Of course!" Hatter exclaimed, his relief palpable. "That's probably why I told it to you in the first place! I just couldn’t remember why I did because of, you know, being mad.”
“Yeah, I get that,” I told him, even though I could only relate from all the times I’d partied too hard and blacked out. “I suppose I should try a little harder to solve this riddle. Can you read it again, Chess?”
“I have a long, stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. What am I?”
