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CHAPTER THIRTY SIX
“That's What I Get” by Charlieonafriday
ROSE
We’re back at the hotel, and I’m in my pajamas, taking my makeup off while Nash showers. When he walks out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but boxers, I can’t help but stare.
I clear my throat and attempt to keep my dirty thoughts to myself. No checking out Nash. Not anymore. Bad Rose.
“Come here,” Nash says, making me jump. I don’t know why his speaking startles me, but I laugh it off, climb to my feet, and make my way over to him. “I never got my kiss,” he says so casually once I’m standing in front of him that, at first, I don’t realize what he’s saying.
“Oh, uh, well, that's okay. I mean, we don’t… I mean, you don’t have to do that. I know you didn’t want to…” I tumble over my words, eventually spitting them out.
“Why do you say that?” Nash asks, and I shrug one shoulder.
“You don’t want to be touched, and that's okay. You don’t have to kiss me. I don’t want you to do something you’re uncomfortable with.” I shake my head.
“You don’t get it, do you? The reason I put you at a distance? I’ve already said it once. It would be too easy to give in. I’m tired of trying to fight the way I feel.” Nash reaches for me, but I take a step back.
“You said you’d hurt me if I let you,” I whisper. “This is me not letting you. I won’t be the person you use to hurt yourself. To do something you’ll regret.”
“I won’t regret this,” Nash insists, but I bite my lip.
“Maybe not tonight, or even tomorrow, but I think you would. Eventually,” I say softly.
“Kiss me once, and if you can tell me you feel nothing, I won’t ever ask you again,” Nash pushes. I want to say yes. But I can’t. However, instead of shaking my head no, like I meant to, I find myself nodding.
“Okay, one kiss.” As soon as I give in, Nash pulls me against his body. His hands push into my hair, and his sweet warm breath lingers for just a moment before his irresistible lips meet mine. He’s gentle at first but becomes more insistent as I open for him, moaning.
He tastes like mint, and the feel of his lips pressed to mine makes me shiver with need. God, he’s so addictive. From the way he holds me like I’m his to the way his fingers push into my hair and tug gently, I’m lost.
I fall into the moment as he trails open-mouth kisses down my jaw and neck before biting my shoulder gently, making me mumble his name.
“Tell me you feel nothing, Rose,” Nash dares me as my eyes flutter open.
“I can’t,” I admit because lying seems worse than all the reasons we can’t take this further.
“Tell me you don’t want me as badly as I want you.”
“I do.”
“Tell me you want me to stop,” he growls as he bites down once again.
“I don’t,” I whisper, but a little voice in the back of my head screams at me to pull away. This feels so fucking good, but what happens when Nash realizes this is a mistake?
I break our connection, pressing my hands to his chest and yanking myself away from him.
I’m panting, breathless, and my heart races, but I still manage to pull away.
“I’d fall in love with you!” I blurt like a love-sick teenager. “I know myself. You’re kind and compassionate. Your smile is infectious, and you can make me laugh even in the most inappropriate situations.”
Nash frowns, opening his mouth and looking like he might speak, but I don’t let him.
“I’ve trusted you as long as I’ve known you, and that's saying a lot in this world. I consider you a friend, and I just know if we don’t stop, if we go any further, this will end badly. You once told me you’d hurt me if I let you. Has that changed? Are you capable of giving me more? Of being mine?” I hold my breath, terrified of his answer, even though I already know it.
Nash’s eyes fall closed, the hand he had wrapped around my wrist falls to his side, and he takes a step away from me. The air rushes from my lungs in a puff as the tiny shred of secret hope I had dies.
“I care for you, and I want you in my life. If that means we keep each other at a distance, then I think that's what we need to do,” I tell him as gently as I can, not wanting him to think I’m mad. I’m not.
