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Kai’s expressions were unreadable as his eyes continued to penetrate mine with such intensity. I couldn’t quite read a single one and my mind was reeling as I tried to dissect them. Kai simply blinked and I watched them vanish as his mask went back into place. This was him protecting himself from the emotions that were hitting him in rapid succession.
“Let me fix what I’ve broken.”
His words settled in the thick air between us. I was trapped, facing an impossible decision. I knew he was bad for me, especially considering our history, yet that was a long time ago. Perhaps he had grown, even though he still operated from a place of self-preservation. That was his childhood trauma and I wanted to reach out and wrap my arms around his broken soul.
I knew I would never survive the same heartbreak from him again.
Kai would obliterate me this time.
“I won’t stop you from trying,” I told him gently as a sad smile pulled on my lips. “But I’m not going to make this easy for you.”
He fell silent for a moment. “I wouldn’t expect you to. I know I have a lot to make up for.”
“I can’t promise you it will work,” I admitted with a soberness in my tone. I was lying and we both knew it but Kai simply nodded in response. He was the only one who could break through my walls.
He wanted to rectify the damage he had caused. I couldn’t deny him that. Even if it didn’t work, he deserved a chance. Everyone always deserved a chance.
“I just have one question,” I said carefully as I stared up at him. Neither of us had made an attempt to move and his face was still close to mine. “And I need you to be honest with me.”
His throat bobbed and his jaw tightened as he swallowed hard and gave me a curt nod. Kai had lied to me in the past, but he always claimed it was for my own good. He omitted a lot of truths from me, but I knew it was because admitting the truth out loud made some things too real for him.
“Are you choosing now because it’s convenient?”
A storm was brewing in Kai’s irises. “Nothing about this is convenient, Winter. Nothing about this is a coincidence.”
His words suspended me back to the night at the country club. When he had followed me outside and told me he was there for me. I didn’t think he was serious at the time, I thought he’d just meant it in that moment, but now he had me questioning everything.
“When you said you were here for me… what did you mean by that, exactly?”
“I told you, darling.” His hand dropped to my face and he brushed a piece of hair behind my ear. “I heard you were back and it was time for me to come for you.”
His expression was giving nothing away. I believed him—I truly did—but I knew there was more to the story than he was giving me. He was taking a break from playing golf and I knew that was part of the reason why he was back as well.
I stared back at him, not sure whether or not I should push the issue. He gave me the honesty I had asked for, even though he was still holding back from me.
“It just seems strange to me that you would come back now. You knew where I was in Vermont, so why wait? Why not come to me there?”
His jaw clenched and his nostrils flared. Something was boiling inside of him, yet his touch was still gentle as he stroked the side of my face. “It’s complicated. One day, I’ll explain, okay?”
I wanted to know, but I knew better than to push him in this moment. This was his way of asking me to let it go. He wasn’t ready to talk about whatever it was that he was holding inside and I at least owed him that much. I didn’t owe him much of anything, but it was human decency. Respect. The one thing I expected in return from him.
“I’ve really fucking missed you,” he breathed as his eyes searched mine. “Please give me a chance to make this right.”
My lips parted as a ragged breath escaped me. My arms had been pinned to my sides, but I couldn’t help myself as I reached out to touch him. Kai inhaled sharply as my hands touched his waist.
“I told you I won’t stop you from trying.”
His fingers were splayed along the side of my face as he pressed his palm against my cheek. The warmth of his hand seeped into my soul as he pushed his fingers through my hair. He held the back of my head and tipped it back. I could see the torment and the doubt in his eyes, but as I pulled him closer, that was the reassurance he needed.
Kai’s lips collided into mine. They melted against mine as he drained the oxygen from my lungs. Our surroundings faded and my mind no longer registered where we were or what was going on around us. The only thing that mattered was his warm body pressed against mine and the way he was distracting me with his mouth.
The air was electric between us. His touch was burning with such an intensity, I thought for sure my body would go up in flames. He deepened the kiss as his tongue danced with mine. He tasted like spearmint and he smelled like leather and sandalwood. Expensive and exquisite. He breathed me in as he consumed every one of my senses.
The bookcase behind us groaned as he pressed me harder against it. One of the books tumbled from the shelf and fell onto the ground. The sound echoed through the library, abruptly pulling me back to reality.
My hands found his chest and I pushed him back. He didn’t move, but his lips left mine in a rush. My chest rose and fell with every shallow, ragged breath that escaped me. This was the power Malakai Barclay had on me. He could walk right into my life and shake everything up without a second thought. And by the time my mind had finally caught up, he was already tearing my walls down one by one.
“You’re doing exactly what I told you not to do,” I said breathlessly as I stared up at him.
