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“I promise,” I told her with nothing but conviction and truth. “I swear to you that I will never break your heart again, Winter. I wish I wouldn’t have in the past, but I can’t take that back now.”
There was a touch of sadness in her eyes as her lips lifted again. “It’s okay, Kai. We found each other again and that’s all that matters. The past is what got us to where we are now.”
I hated her words, but I craved her forgiveness. I would never be worthy of her, but I wanted to be.
“I found a letter in your desk.”
I watched as shock settled within her features and her eyes widened slightly. Winter stared back at me, her lips parting as a nervous breath escaped her. “Did you read it?”
The sadness pulled me deep into its depths as I nodded. “I did.”
“I was never going to send it to you.” She paused for a moment, her voice dropping to a whisper. “I was so hurt, Kai. It was more to help me process what had happened that night.”
I tilted my head to the side. “Why weren’t you going to send it? I wish you would have. I would have given anything to read those words six years ago.”
Confusion washed through her bright irises. “Because it wouldn’t have made a difference.”
My breath caught in my throat as her words sank in. She was right. It probably wouldn’t have made a difference. I was set in my ways and convinced that pushing her away was what was best for her. Would a letter have changed that? Most likely not.
“Be honest with me,” she said, breaking through my thoughts. “If I would have sent it, would you have read it?”
A muscle in my jaw flexed. “Probably not. Forcing you away was the hardest thing I ever did. I’m not sure I would have been able to look at it. I didn’t need anything to sway the decision I made.”
She stared at me. “The decision you made for both of us.”
“The worst decision I’ve ever made.” My nostrils flared and my chest expanded as I inhaled deeply. I slowly released the breath, staring down at the one who my heart truly belonged to. “I fucked up, Winter. I did take the choice away from you. I pushed you away, thinking it was the right thing, but all I did was cause so much pain between us. So many years apart that we can’t get back now.”
Winter’s expression softened. Her eyes shifted between mine before settling on my gaze. I was lost in her eyes, lost in her essence. She slowly pulled my face down to hers and her lips brushed mine as she whispered against my skin.
“We just have a lot of lost time to make up for then.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
WINTER
Kai was sitting up in the stands like he used to do when we were kids as I skated around the ice rink. There was something freeing about the way my ice skates slid across the surface. I was in my element, completely lost in the moment, yet in the back of my mind I couldn’t help but remember that he was there watching my every move.
And every time I glanced over in his direction, I couldn’t help but notice the smile on his lips. It was the one he had reserved for me and me only. Kai was never a warm and welcoming person to others, but he was different with me.
He always was.
When we were in high school, he would drive me to my practices and sit in the freezing building while he watched me the entire time. I knew he didn’t care about figure skating and would have rather been on a golf course instead, yet still, he stayed.
As the freestyle time was coming to an end, I made my way over to the boards and I saw Kai as he was descending from the loft area where spectators could sit. He met me at the door with his smile illuminating his face. It reached his eyes, revealing the dimples in his cheeks.
“You looked devastatingly beautiful out there,” he said as his arms encircled my waist. “I always loved watching you skate.”
I laced my hands behind his neck, pulling his face down to mine. “You came and watched me, so now it’s my time to repay the favor.”
Kai lifted an eyebrow. “There’s no repayment needed. Watching you has always been my pleasure, darling.”
Lifting on my toes, I pressed my lips to his before breaking apart. “You said you were having trouble putting and I want to help.”
A look of confusion washed over his expression. “Winter… you hate golfing.”
“I know, but I have an idea,” I said as I stepped out of his reach. His hand quickly found mine as we walked over to a bench and I sat down to untie my skates. Kai pushed my hands away as he reached for my ankle and lifted my foot to untie them himself. “I was thinking, if I came with you out on the course, maybe it would help to distract the thoughts that keep interrupting your mental space.”
“I can’t unsee you with another guy.”
