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I hated when this happened to her because there was no immediate fix. I knew it had to run its course and all I could do was be there for her. Winter needed to get as far away from my father and crowds, so I was taking her back to my condo. She would have been better with somewhere familiar, but it was closer than her house.
And she had me.
I was all the familiarity she needed.
Winter was perfectly still with her eyes shut and her head leaning against the window of my car. I pulled into the garage underneath my building and put the car in park. She still didn’t move even after I killed the engine. I stared at her chest until I saw it rise and fall a few times.
I never felt as helpless as I did in moments like this.
My movements were rushed as I climbed out of the car and walked to the passenger’s side. I slowly opened the door, careful to not disrupt her too much. Winter moved her head and sat up straighter. She cracked her eyelids, undoubtedly trying to block out some of the harsh lights from inside the parking garage.
“Where are we?” Winter questioned me, her voice barely audible.
“I brought you back to my place, darling.” I reached out, brushing the hair from her face. “Let’s get you inside, okay?”
“Okay,” she murmured as she unbuckled her seat belt. I held my hands out to her and she took one and placed her other hand on the door to help herself out. After shutting the door and locking it, I held on to her hand while giving her some space to get her bearings as we walked into the building.
She didn’t utter a single word as we stepped inside my condo.
“Quiet and dark, right?” I asked her quietly as I pushed the door shut behind us and pulled her deeper inside.
Winter nodded, letting me lead her to my bedroom. I pulled her inside the dark room and moved the blankets out of the way as I made a spot for her to lay. Winter lowered herself onto the bed and I followed along with her. Her back was pressed against my chest and I pulled the blankets over us as I wrapped my arm around her waist and held her tightly.
“Just breathe,” I murmured as I lifted my hand from her waist and began to stroke her hair. In the past, it was what she liked. It helped to distract her. “One, two, three, four, five, through your nose. Hold for one, two, three, four, five. Now exhale for one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.”
Winter followed my instructions, breathing in, holding her breath, and then exhaling. The silence settled around us. I continued to stroke her hair as she kept following the breathing exercise.
“Kai?” My name was but a whisper on her lips.
“Yes, darling?”
“Please, don't stop talking to me.” She let out a soft breath. “Your voice… it helps.”
“Just breathe with me. I’ll count and you focus on controlling your breathing.” I murmured the words, keeping my tone soft and gentle, just like her soul. “I’m right here. I’ll always be right here. You are my existence.”
I began to count, the numbers becoming a chant or a mantra as I kept repeating them. Winter continued to breathe, focusing on my words, on the sound of my voice. A few minutes passed before she began to relax in my arms, before her breathing was slowing itself.
She abruptly rolled to face me. The soft glow from the moon outside my window cast its light across her face. Her green eyes met mine. “Thank you for helping me.”
“How are you feeling?” I asked her as I slid my hand along the side of her face. “Has it subsided at all?”
She nodded. “It’s lingering a bit, but it’s much more tolerable than it was.” Her gaze dropped to my mouth before lifting back to my eyes. “Distract me, Kai. Make it all go away.”
I stared at her for a few heartbeats. “Are you sure? I don’t want it to be too much for you.”
“I need you, Kai,” she breathed as she pressed her body flush against mine. “You’re the only thing that can make me feel better. You make me feel safe, like nothing could ever hurt me.”
“Nothing ever will, darling,” I assured her as I slid my hands down her body. My face inched closer to hers. “I will always protect you with my life. In this life and the next. Your safety will always be of the utmost importance to me.”
I gently pushed her onto her back, rolling with her until my arms were caging her in. I settled between her thighs, my mouth a breath away from hers. Her eyelids fluttered shut as I brought my lips down to hers.
“Promise me, Malakai,” Winter murmured against them. There was desperation and need in her tone as she pushed her hands beneath my shirt. Her nails raked over my skin. “Promise me you’ll never leave.”
I wanted to know what my father had said to her before I arrived at the restaurant tonight. He said something that left her rattled like this. I pushed back the anger, knowing I couldn’t ask her, not like this. Emotion lodged itself in my throat. “I promise.”
Her lips were soft against mine and I moved with tenderness. I wanted to be gentle with her, but Winter had other plans. Her hands were urgent, pushing my clothes away. Her mouth was bruising against mine as we breathed each other in. She was consuming me and I was ready to let her. She could have whatever she needed from me without a second thought.
Layer by layer, we removed our clothing until they were scattered across my bedroom floor. Winter was beneath me, open and accepting as I slid inside her with one fluid motion. Instinctively, her legs wrapped around my waist, her ankles hooking together behind my back. My hands were in her hair, exposing her neck as I dropped my mouth down to her throat.
