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Chewing my bottom lip, I watched her disappear around the corner of the building, confused about what had just happened. Was she warning me, scaring me, or giving me a pep talk? Because she'd accomplished all three.
Blowing out a breath, I fell against the red brick wall. I couldn't do this tonight. I needed to find a way to build a connection with him. Last night proved it was possible. He'd kissed me, but I wasn't sure what I did to make him want to do that.
nine
SADIE
Standingat the foot of the stairs leading up to the entryway to the team house, I nervously stared up at the old two-story wood-framed house as my heart pounded in my chest and the only sound I could hear was my frantic pulse thrumming in my ears. A warm rush of heat spread through me as I thought of what would happen when I stepped through that doorway.
I wasn't entirely sure how long I'd been standing outside, but I knew what was waiting on the other side of that door, and I couldn't bring myself to walk up the steps. I was honestly surprised my legs made the short walk here.
"I can't do this," I muttered, spinning around and bolting toward the street.
"I didn't take you for a runner," Jayden said from behind me. I halted. I wasn't a runner, but the thought of more than one guy my very first time having sex was terrifying. I spun around to see Jayden propped against his truck, arms crossed over his chest with a cocky grin plastered across his face. "You didn't change your mind, did you?"
"I want to renegotiate terms." I squared my shoulders, my head held high.
"Negotiations are over, Sadie." He shoved off his truck, strolling toward me.
"All I want is a couple of days before initiation."
Stopping in front of me, he peered down through narrowed eyes. "And what exactly is the difference between today and a couple of days?"
I didn't want to tell him that I wanted the chance to lose my virginity to one person before his friends destroyed me."I just need some time to—" I paused briefly, searching for the right word. "Prepare."
"Prepare?" he repeated. "And how does one prepare for something like that? Did you forget to shave? Is it that time of the month? How will you prepare for this?"
"If I told you I hadn't shaved, or it was my time of the month, would it change anything?"
"No," he said. "Why do you look like you're about to puke?" Probably because I was.
"I'm not," I reassured him. "I'm fine."
"Okay," he said. "Tell me the truth. Why do you need a couple of days?" I don't know why I thought he'd agree to give me a few days, and I didn't know what to tell him. The thought never crossed my mind that he might ask why. My head was spinning, and panic was setting in. "Sadie?"
"I'm a virgin," I blurted out. I swallowed hard as my gaze blinked up to see his blank expression. "If you can, just give me a few days to let me..." I trailed off as my cheeks burned.
"Let me make sure I understand you," he said. "You want me to reschedule tonight so you can lose your virginity to someone else?"
"To one person," I corrected.
"That's not how this works, princess," he growled, grabbing my upper arm and jerking me into him. "Let's go." I pulled hard against his grip, and he stopped, raising his brows. "You changed your mind?"
I didn't answer.
"Alyssa is in Taylor's room now. We can go tell her together that she needs to leave." I didn't know why I thought he would have any bit of decency. I shook my head no. "Then, let's go."
His phone chimed, making me jump. One hand still wrapped around my arm, he shoved his other in his pocket, pulling out his phone.
"Fuck," he muttered, glaring at the bright screen. I didn't bother asking what because I didn't care. "Change of plans." Shoving his phone in his pocket, his grip tightened on my arm as he dragged me back towards his truck.
"Wait," I hissed, using all my weight, trying to force him to stop, but it was pointless. Jayden was more than twice my size. "What is going on?"
He didn't answer.
"Get in," he said, shoving me toward the truck. There was no playfulness in his tone. Whatever was going on shifted his entire mood, and not for the better.
"Where are we going?"
