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“Don’t I know it.”
It’s the driving force though since we made it all the way, and we have a few weeks to go yet before we’re holding that Cup.
Now is the time for me to really get my head in the game.
It’s not the time to be rehashing the past with your ex.
I shrug it off once again. My head tells my heart that there’s nothing to worry about.
I’m freaking Taylor James. Nothing can knock me off this road to victory…
Nothing at all.
* * *
My mom has been pushing me more and more lately to spend some time with my dad.
I find that pretty rich coming from her, since she left the guy when I was in grade school because he cheated. But she wanted nothing to do with him after we left that night. I remember coming home from school and seeing our suitcases packed in the hallway.
We stayed with my grandparents for a few months until my mom found us a place and she got back on her feet. As far as I’m aware, my father never helped with anything.
He pretty much stayed out of my life, other than calling me on my birthday and coming to every single game I’ve ever played.
I don’t know exactly why he bothers. And I don’t know what the custody arrangements were back then; I just know I barely ever saw the guy.
So it’s weird to be confronted with him more and more as time goes on.
He tried all those years ago when I was first making a name for myself in the NHL.
But I moved to Nashville before I could really take him up on his offer to reconcile and try to establish some kind of relationship.
We text more than anything else, and it’s always about the game.
He always tells me how good the game was and how proud of me he is.
I don’t know where it’s all coming from, but maybe as he’s approaching middle age, he’s starting to have regrets, who knows.
The fact is, I needed my father back then when I was a kid. I’ve learned to not be with him over the years. As much as I wanted to see him more regularly, it rarely happens.
It seemed he never cared about me, and that put everlasting scars on my soul, along with the scars from Emmerson Daley.
They are the two things in my life I just can’t seem to get over. And it seems there’s no fixing either of them.
Dad’s been asking me to have dinner with him for months, and I know I should see him again. We haven’t had a proper convo in years, much like the Emmerson situation.
My dad is pretty successful in his own right. He bought and sold stocks and shares when I was a kid, then he bought into a small-town auto parts store years ago, slowly turning it into a national franchise as the years went on. I heard he inherited some money, and part of that inheritance also paid for some of my earlier education. I suppose at least he helped in that regard.
To see my mother struggle on her own, though, that’s the one thing I can’t get over.
She worked tirelessly as a figure skating coach. She did everything she could to make sure I didn’t go without. I have total respect for her for that. I know it can’t have been easy.
That’s why I like to spoil my mom, as much as she doesn’t like the flashy accolades when they’re directed at her. I had to shove her holiday home right under her nose as a surprise for her to accept it. Maybe because she doesn’t really know how to let someone take care of her.
She’s never dated since my dad. I’ve heard her telling friends that as you get older you just get used to life on your own and having a man in it would only mess things up again. Whatever that’s supposed to mean.
Maybe we both have trust issues.
Truth is, if mom thinks I need to catch up with my dad, then maybe I should.
