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I want to be involved. To learn where the money goes and the people it benefits. I’m not interested in possessions, but I am interested in honoring my side of the contract. I will become the perfect wife because, as hard as I try to ignore it, I want to stay with Killian.
When he arrives home from work, my heart flutters the minute I set eyes on him. He only has to look at me, and I want him. There is so much I desire about him and it’s not just sex.
It’s him.
The way he makes me feel inside. The soft looks he gives me when he thinks I’m not looking.
The gentle touches he doesn’t even realize he’s giving me and the way we snuggle together to watch another movie of my choice.
He never complains. He watches anything I want and laughs along with me. Then there are the times we head out for a walk in the grounds of this magnificent home. The childish games we play and the stories he tells me about growing up with his siblings. I am hungry for life but starved of him. I want more of his stories, more of his touches and more of his desire-lit kisses. I want all of him and it saddens me to know I will never even scratch the surface of the enigmatic man I married.
* * *
I headoff to change before sitting down to the lunch that James has provided as usual on a table set for one. He always sets it in the window of the dining room so I can gaze across the ornamental gardens outside.
However, as I stand under the shower, I don’t feel so good. If I’m honest, I haven’t felt so good for a few weeks now. Mainly nauseous, but lethargic too. My fingernails keep breaking and I am drained most of the time and as another wave of nausea hits me, I run to the toilet and hurl inside.
I am so weak and sit, with my hand to my head, on the cool marble tiles.
I haven’t said anything to anyone, but I have my suspicions and when I am less dizzy, I stand and head to my closet. I locate my purse and drag out the test I bought at the pharmacy on my way out of lunch.
With trembling fingers, I remove it and read the instructions, careful to follow them to the letter so there can be no mistake.
Five minutes later, I have my suspicions confirmed and as I stare at the solid blue line, it’s as if every wish I ever had in life is granted in one heartbeat.
I’m pregnant.
I already know Killian will be happy about that. He’s already told me he wants at least four children. I also know I’m ecstatic. I am so happy I could burst because we have made a life—together.
Then I experience the real fear that we are bringing a child into the world. A world of evil that could corrupt my baby’s soul. It worries me that I won’t be a good mother. That Killian will fail as a father and our child will be miserable.
Then a sense of purpose and determination washes over me. I won’t let that happen. I will learn to love Killian, and I will adore our child. This baby will want for nothing emotionally, even if I die trying.
With a renewed sense of purpose, I fasten my hair in a ponytail and pull on a pale blue sundress. I want to tell my husband the good news and it can’t wait another minute.
As I grab my purse, I race down the stairs and find James in the dining room.
“I need a ride to Gold Hawk Enterprises.”
“But your lunch.” He says with dismay, and I shake my head. “I’m sorry. It’s urgent that I speak with him.”
“I could call him.” He says with a smile, and I shake my head vehemently.
“No. I need to meet with him face to face.”
“I’m not …’’
“James, please. I need a fucking ride as a matter of urgency.”
He raises his eyes at my outburst, which makes me giggle, and then he grins.
“Of course. I’ll arrange for Julian to take you.”
I head toward the front door to wait for Julian, one of Killian’s chauffeurs, and as soon as I hear the car at the door, I head outside and blink in disbelief.
“What’s this?” I say in shock as Julian stands with the door open.
“It’s your car, ma’am.”
