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Her mother’s gaze darts my way with a judgmental sniff. “Well, guess that’s between you and God.” Glancing back at her husband, she says, “Let’s go somewhere else for eggs, Bill. It’s too busy here. And loud.”
Bill grunts and turns back toward the truck, summoning a wounded sound from the back of Macy’s throat.
“That’s it?” she says, the pain in her voice stinging against my skin. “You haven’t seen me in fifteen years or talked to me in five, and that’s it? I’m your only daughter, and I could have died last night in that flood. Doesn’t that feel like a sign to you? A sign that we should put all this anger and misunderstanding behind us and try to love each other, at least a little bit? I might not always understand you guys or agree with you, but I care about you and want the best for you. If you want the same for me, then I know we can find common ground.”
Bill hesitates. He looks like he’s about to turn back when Macy’s mom takes his elbow and says, “Maybe we can try Jenny’s Bakehouse. They don’t tend to be as crowded and you always like their bran muffins.”
He grunts and after another beat of hesitation, nods. “Corn ones are good, too,” he says as they walk away, headed back to their truck without another word for their daughter, this incredible, brave, kind woman they have never given the credit she’s due.
I turn to Macy, my throat aching at the tears shining her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
She shakes her head, her jaw clenching beneath the skin. “Don’t be. I should have known better. They’ve shown me who they are again and again. It’s past time I believed them.”
“If it’s any comfort, I think your dad wanted this to end differently,” I say, resting a hand on her back. “I think he wanted to stay and talk things through.”
She swallows. “But he didn’t. He chose Mom, the way he always has, because that’s how she works. It’s her way or the highway, and he’s been doing things her way for forty years. He’s never going to change.We’renever going to change. And I…” She steps away from my touch with a tight shake of her head. “I can’t do this, Theo. I can’t live here knowing my parents are on the other side of town, asking their church to pray for their piece of shit daughter every week.”
I frown, but assure her, “You don’t have to live here. We already decided. We’re going to leave. Together.”
“But you have all this,” she says, backing away as she motions toward the diner and my family at the picnic tables behind us. “You have good people in your life, a great job, a place in the world where you’re wanted and important.”
“And none of that is going to change because I go on the road with you. My family is always going to be there for me, even if I’m far away,” I say, taking a step forward only for her to counter with another quick step back. I lift my hands in surrender, hoping the gesture will help her remember that I’m not the enemy. “Please, Macy. I can imagine how hard it is to be estranged from your parents, but don’t let their bullshit ruin this for us. We’re still good and with a little time, we can be better than good. We can be great. We can be everything. The dream. I know that and, deep down, you know it, too.”
Tears fill her eyes. “But I’m not your only shot, Theo. You don’t have to give up your support system and your home for a chance at love. There are so many women who would be overjoyed to live here in this community with you, women without baggage or shitty families who hate them.”
“They don’t hate you, baby,” I say, my heart breaking to see her in so much pain. “They just don’t understand you, and they’re scared.”
“Of what?” she asks with a strained laugh. “I’m their daughter, not a criminal. And growing up, I was just a kid trying to do what felt right for me. I was never trying to be bad. I wasn’t even defiant. I just wasn’t who they wanted me to be.”
“Well, you’re exactly who I want you to be,” I say. “And I’m not going to be making a sacrifice leaving Bad Dog. The thought of living in an RV and exploring the country with you for a few years sounds amazing. You’re not the only one who loves adventure, you know.”
“But what if it’s not just a few years?” she asks, sniffling as she clearly makes an effort to pull herself together. “What if I never want to settle down? What if I want to be a rolling stone forever?”
I hesitate for a fraction of a second, but quickly decide, “I could handle that, I guess. If that really feels like the only way for you. But I think that’s something we should take day by day and not make any decisions about yet. There are great towns in the area other than this one. We could find one that feels right to us someday, and I could visit family by myself. You’d never have to set foot in Bad Dog again if you didn’t want to.”
“And what about kids?” she asks. “What if I don’t want them?”
I balk a little at that. I can’t help it.
I’ve always assumed I’d be a father someday. It was a part of my future that I took for granted even though I’ve yet to find a partner. I just had faith that it would all sort itself out, and I’d eventually get to be the kind of dad who showered his kids with all the love my father never had the chance to give to me.
But then again, the thought of having kids with anyone but Macy feels hollow.
Wrong.
I’m about to tell her so when she cuts in, “See? It’s just like last time. Love can’t solve all our problems or make up for all our differences. And it can’t make it okay for me to hurt you when you’re the one person I never ever want to hurt again.” Tears spill down her cheeks. “And this is the part where I would get in my van and run away, but I don’t have a van and can’t run. So, you’ll just have to settle for watching me grab my pig and slowly walk down the road, back to that Red Cross tent they set up for flood victims a mile or so back.”
My forehead furrows as I fight my own tears. “Macy, please. Just stay. Have some breakfast and get some rest, then we can talk more about all this. You’ve just been through a traumatic natural disaster and barely slept last night. Now isn’t the time to make any big decisions.”
She swipes at her cheeks, her lips turning down at the edges. “I know, but I can’t help it. When I know something’s wrong, I have to stop doing it. Right that very second. Even if the timing is shit. You know that about me.”
My shoulders sag as I admit, “I do. And I love that about you.” I pull in a breath, willing her to see how much I need her to stay. “I loveyou. More than safety or familiar things or the dream of having kids. Because that’s all they are right now, Mace, just a dream. And they’re a dream I could let go of if having a family isn’t a dream you share.”
Her brow wrinkles. “But you’d resent me for it. Maybe not today or tomorrow or next year, but eventually.”
“So, now you can not only read my mind, but the future, too?” I step in again, hope blooming in my chest when she lets me get closer without flitting away. “Idon’t even know what I’m going to want next year. And you know me well enough to know I don’t lie. Not even to make the people I love happy. That’s why I couldn’t promise to come with you fifteen years ago.” I reach out, twining my fingers gently, tentatively through hers. “But now, I can. I can promise it’s what I want, and that I’m never going to regret taking this chance. Not ever.”
“Even if we can’t make it work for the long haul?” she whispers.
