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“Notin front of men they’ve never met!”
“Right, okay.Wecan fix that.Hi,I’mJackson.”Heholds his hand out to me to shake.
“I’m…I’mSelena,”Isay, holding my hand out and letting him pump it up and down three times.
“Now,I’mnot some man you’ve never met.”Jacksonlooks around the elevator and then taps his knuckles on the wall.Thesound fills the small area around us. “Theacoustics are pretty damn good in here.So, we just need some background noise.”
Hepulls out his phone, taps a few times, and then the elevator is full of old country music.Idon’t know who it is, but it sounds vaguely familiar.Thesinger is apparently very sad that his woman left him and took his truck and his dog.Poordog.
“Okay, let’s get this over with.”
“Thankyou… but,Ican’t…”IthinkI’mgoing to die from needing to pee.Mybody is just going to explode, and that will be the end of me.
“What’sthe problem now?”Jacksonmutters.
“Stillthe same problem!”
“Wouldit help ifIgo first?”
“Nowyouwant to pee in front ofme?”Ifmy bladder wasn’t about to explode,Iwould laugh at him.Thisis too much.It’sall too much.I’mseeing black spots.I’min physical pain.I’mnot sure how much longerIcan go on.Butnow we’re both going to pee?
“Doyou have some sort of pee fetish?”
Helooks shocked. “What?No!Hellno!”
“You’renot…No, you couldn’t be…”Itrail off, embarrassed about whatIalmost blurted out.
Heleans in. “What?”
“Nothing.”
“It’sobviously something.Spitit out,”Jacksonsays…sternly.Ishe speaking to me sternly?
“It’sjust…Moviestar.Wason a vampire teen show.Areyou lasso golden waterfall guy?”
Jacksonlooks confused. “Idon’t know what any of that means.ButI’mgoing to say no.Whatthe hell is a lasso golden waterfall guy?”
“FromCelebritEYES.Theywrote this blind item about a movie star who was on a teen vampire show.Justlike you.He’svery into pee.Justlike you.Theguy likes to lasso women with a rope and then pee on them during sex.So, he’s nicknamedlasso golden waterfall guy.”DoIfinally have the answer to one ofCelebritEYES’ infamous blinds?Ican never figure out who the people are, so this would be a total coup for me.
Myraging bladder sends a sharp pain, ending my fun.
“Whatthe hell?No.Thatis not me!AndIam notintopee!”
“Uh-huh, sure.”
“I’mtelling you, it’s not me.I’venever peed… on anyone.Ever.”
“Youseem very comfortable with pee.That’sallI’msaying.”
“Igrew up on a farm.Igrew up mucking out stalls and moving wheelbarrows full of shit.So,I’mnot afraid of a little pee.Butthat doesn’t mean thatI’minto… any of what you just said.”Thelook of disgust on his face almost makes me believe him.Buthe makes his very impressive living as an actor, soIremain unconvinced.
“Yougrew up on a farm.So, you probably know how to lasso something, don’t you?Orsomeone?”
“I’mstarting to think that you don’t actually need my help.OrIwould be, if your face wasn’t so red that you look like you’re about to explode.Let’sget this over with.”
Jacksonreaches into the promotional canvas tote still hanging over his big shoulder.Heunscrews the lid of a large stainless steel water bottle and hands it to me.Themetal is cool in my hand, and whenIlook down at it,I’mstaring into the shockingly blue eyes ofJacksonfreakingWaters, the blue rings, shifting from the lightest icy blue in the middle to a dark navy at the edges.Hisface is on the damn water bottle.
“It’seven a wide mouth for you,”Jacksonsays with a grin.
