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“Are you going to be a good girl now?” he growled in her ear.
“Yes, Daddy,” she breathed.Daddy? Where the hell had that come from?Behind her, she felt Jason stiffen, and she knew her face was flaming red.
“I’m sorry,” she apologised quickly. “I don’t know why I said that, it just popped out.” Awkward now, she wriggled free from his grasp and turned to face him, except she couldn’t face him. Not really. Not when she had just made such a fool of herself. How could she look him in the eyes now?
“Don’t apologise,” Jason said. “I liked it.” He smiled. “I was just startled, that’s all. Nobody has ever called meDaddybefore.”
Catherine giggled. “I’ve never called anyoneDaddybefore, either.” She exhaled quietly, blowing out a long breath of air that made her body relax and left her a lot less mortified.
“It does amuse me that being spanked in a public carpark didn’t bother you, but calling meDaddydoes,” Jason said with a wink, laughter evident in his tone.
“Oh, that bothered me too,” Catherine assured him, “but at least nobody saw. It’s worse, somehow, saying something stupid.”
Jason shook his head, and Catherine got the distinct impression that she’d said something wrong.
“What? What did I say?” she asked him, indignant.
“Calling meDaddyis not stupid.”
“Well, it kinda is…” She let her voice trail off.
Jason pressed one finger to her lips. “Shush. It’s not.”
She tilted her head back and sighed softly as he traced his fingers gently down the side of her face, sending sparks shooting through her. His touch felt so right. At the end, she’d flinched every time Steve had touched her, even in the rare times he was being gentle. But right here, with Jason, it felt good. She craved more of him.
“Okay.Daddy.” She caught Jason’s eye then, trying to gauge his reaction, and was met with a sexy grin and rakish wink. The word flowed off her lips naturally, as if she’d been calling him that all along. Maybe he was right—maybe it wasn’t stupid. Maybe a daddy was just what she needed.
“Do you want to just follow me out?” Jason asked.
CHAPTER4
She followed Jason along the narrow, winding road that she’d once known as well as the back of her hand. Now, although the road followed exactly the same route, the landmarks had changed. New housing developments had popped up in the fourteen years since she’d last travelled this road and there were far more cars than she remembered. The road wasn’t any wider though, so she had to take it slowly. Far slower than Jason was; his Pajero was so far off in the distance she could barely even see it.
Fortunately, she knew where she was going. Although her surroundings had changed, this road was still as familiar to her now as it had been back then. She’d driven it every day for years, and once, she’d known just how much she had to turn the steering wheel to make it around every corner. Back then, she could have navigated this road with her eyes shut, she’d known it so well.
Just up beyond the next bend, off to the left, she could see the red roof of the barn, partially hidden by the trees. Poplars lined the driveway and she knew, once she came out of the corner, that the wooden archway framing the entrance to the farm, the riding school where she’d spent so much of her childhood, where she’d fallen in love with Jason, would be right there.
Her heart pounded and her clammy hands slipped on the steering wheel as the entrance to the farm that had once been her second home came into sight. She sucked in a breath and pulled into the driveway, wincing as the iron rails of the cattle stop clattered beneath her car wheels; she’d taken it way too fast. The handful of Suffolk sheep grazing peacefully under the trees looked up as she drove past, but otherwise didn’t move; they were clearly used to vehicles coming and going.
The driveway was rutted and potholed—so different from what she remembered. The gravel had always been smooth when she’d driven on it all those years ago. Now, although she tried to navigate around the water-filled holes, there were too many of them to avoid completely and her car bounced and jolted.
“Crikey, Jason, how do you get out of here in your flash horse truck without damaging the thing?” she muttered, shading her eyes against the sun that reflected off the iron roof of the barn, threatening to blind her.
As she rounded the final corner and pulled up next to Jason’s truck in the big parking area outside the fences, Jason came out of the stables, two golden Labradors at his heels. Catherine smiled and inhaled deeply. The air smelled different out here, fresher. No car fumes. Just horses, hay, dogs, dirt, sheep. Fresh cut grass—and the rumble of a lawnmower in the house yard. Jason had staff, then. Back when she’d used to come here, his family had taken care of everything themselves.
“You’ve still got the dogs?” Catherine bent to pat the big, friendly dogs who were sniffing her legs.
“Not the same ones you remember, no. This is Zoda and Milo.”
She stroked the golden dog’s ears, running her hand down over his shoulder and back. Zoda—or was it Milo?—leaned against her happily, his tail wagging so hard it made his entire body move side to side. Ordinarily, Catherine wasn’t a dog person but here at the stables, the dogs had been a fact of life. Whenever she’d arrived at the stables, the dogs had been there to greet her. They’d always wandered so calmly amongst the horses, chasing after sticks the children threw, lying with their heads on their paws at the edge of the arena during riding lessons. She remembered the male one, Jag, licking away her tears after a particularly brutal riding lesson where Jason had bawled her out time and time again. She couldn’t remember why now, but her focus had been all over the place, the poor horse had been confused by the mixed messages she’d been giving, and she’d well and truly deserved the bollocking she’d gotten from him. But, more than anything that day, she’d needed affection and love, and Jag had given it to her in spades. Unconditionally.
She shook her head sadly at the memory. So much had changed since then. But so much was still the same, as well. It was confusing. Confronting.
Straightening up, Catherine looked around at the familiar stables, the place where she’d spent so much of her childhood. This had almost been her second home, and everywhere she looked dredged up memories.
To the right of the stables was the hay barn—where Jason had taken her virginity, snug in a nest of hay right at the back, hidden from view to anyone who might be passing. Back then, it had been their special spot. How many other women had he taken there?
Tears filled her eyes as she looked around. Coming here was a bad idea. The last time she’d come here, she’d known in her heart that she wouldn’t be back. Jason had put the Olympics first; they’d been the most important thing in his life. Making the team, and then chasing gold, had consumed him entirely. He’d lived and breathed it. Riding in the Olympics had been his dream the entire time she’d known him. Deep down, she’d known she was an interruption and she understood why he brushed her off, why he cancelled their dates, didn’t return her calls. It wasn’t because he didn’t care about her, it wasn’t an intentional snub. He just cared about the Olympics more. His whole being—everything he was—had gone to chasing gold. And she’d had to accept what was left over. So she’d stepped back to let him focus. She’d tried to tell herself it was the ultimate sacrifice—self-denial—but it wasn’t. Not really. It was accepting rejection. Accepting that he couldn’t give her what she wanted or needed.
