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Life doesn’t feel like it could get much better.
Chapter twenty-two
Parker
Thedrivegoesbyquickly once we get back on the road. I feel lighter than I did when we started out, even if my thoughts keep drifting back to my father. It’s impossible not to think about him after what I told Amanda. It’s even harder when I think about what our lives are going to be like soon.
I walked away so I wouldn’t end up like him.
Having a family to love and protect means everything to me.
I’d do anything for Amanda and our kids are going to have normal, happy lives with parents who actually spend time with them.
Everything is sliding into place.
I finally understand what my purpose is. I know what’s important, and what isn’t.
I’m not sure I want to spend another night in the city, but I’ll do it for Amanda.
One last time, before I walk away for good.
Tonight won’t be like those other nights.
I’m not going out here to torture myself. I won’t wander around outside my father’s apartment building, trying to decide if I should talk to him or not. I never made it inside the building. I always knew he’d let me down if I tried to understand his side of things.
The cold, hard truth is that he doesn’t deserve another second of my time, another ounce of my energy. He made himself clear years ago. I wasted too many nights thinking he might have made a mistake, but if he did, he never contacted me to apologize.
He’s my father, but he’s never been my dad.
I never leaned on him for anything that wasn’t purely financial.
He never attempted to be there for me besides handing out cash.
The man has meant nothing to me for a very long time. He might as well be dead.
Amanda’s the most important thing in my life now. She has been ever since we met.
I decide then and there I’m letting him go. After tonight, the credit card is getting cut into shards and dumped in the trash where I should have put it years ago. I won’t come back to the city for anything.
After tonight.The faint feeling of dread that rolls over me isn’t new.
It happens every time I drive into Nightshade.
Every time I come back to the place I was born and raised before I was told to leave.
I get feelings about things sometimes. Intuitions.
This isn’t one of those. It’s just how the city feels to me now.
It’s a place I don’t belong. A place where nothing truly good ever seemed to happen.
Being here lowers my mood. I knew that was coming, but it hits harder than I expect.
Lucky for me, Amanda’s too busy gazing out of the window at the busy streets to notice.
“Wow,” she marvels. “This place really is a city.”
Everything’s bigger and brighter and crammed way too close together.
