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My legs give way and I crumble to the floor. Hot tears sting my eyes and roll down my cheeks. All this time I’d been strutting around here acting like I was God’s gift to the medical world, all the while Bash knew the truth and said nothing. I am so humiliated.
I feel Bash near me. Hear his voice in my ear. “I’ll give you the world, Mads, whatever you want. But don’t youevertake me for granted or try to dismiss me. Your career and the hospital aren’t the center of your universe…I am.” He then takes me by the hands and gently lifts me to my feet. “The private jet leaves for Moscow in 2 hours, you need to be ready.”
Feeling utterly deflated, I allow Bash to lead me up the stairs to finish packing. I feel so utterly disillusioned and uncertain. What do I do with this information about the residency? What do I do about this pregnancy? I am so lost and torn.
And now I must fly thousands of miles away to a place I’ve never been with this man whom I love but hardly know.
As we fly over the Atlantic in the Gulfstream G650 that Sebastian chartered for our trip, I’m buffeted about in a whirlwind of doubt and uncertainty. I wasn’t the top choice for the surgical residency! True more than a hundred candidates were vying for the position and coming in second place is still impressive, but it’s the difference between finding out you only won the silver when you thought, and maybe even boasted, that you’d won the gold.
And now I’ll be forever beholden to Bash for pulling strings to get me the gold.
And now a baby! This is not how my life was supposed to play out. I was going to spend the next seven years dedicating my life to my residency and fellowship. How would a baby fit into this? Bash would, no doubt, honor his offer to hire a nanny and night nurse. But how will I appear to my colleagues when shortly after having a baby, I return to work putting in long hours and barely spending any time with the newborn?
They’ll look at me the same way they look at Chief Resident Emma – like some cold-hearted machine who only cares about getting ahead in her career. Let a man work like that and he’s a freaking hero, but a new mother? Forget about it.
But is there a part of me that is grateful Bash is taking such a staunch position on this? In my heart of hearts, I must admit that a small part of me is grateful for two reasons. One, it further demonstrates his commitment to us, not just as a couple, but as a family. And two, for all my blustering about how I’d never go through with the pregnancy, when it really came down to it, I don’t know that I could’ve gone through with terminating it. I’ve never been in this position, so I honestly don’t know.
And finally, if I do go through with it…how do I feel about a crime lord being the father of my children. It’s one thing for me to put myself at risk, but is it fair to bring a child into this arrangement? Even when I accepted his marriage proposal, the idea of children seemed such a distant prospect that it didn’t really bare much consideration.
“Are you planning to give me the silent treatment the whole ride over?” Sebastian’s voice intrudes on my thoughts.
I glance at him from the corner of my eyes. “I thought we weren’t going to have any more secrets. I can’t believe you did all of that behind my back.”
“Babe, I didn’t want to steal your thunder. I wanted you to have all the glory for your accomplishments.”
“Yeah, I get that, but you let me go on and on about it knowing I didn’t really achieve my goal. I feel like such an idiot right now.”
“Why? Nearly a hundred candidates were up for the residency, you made it to the number 2 spot all on your own because you’re a gifted doctor. You and Simon were neck and neck, the only thing that put him over the top was that his father is close friends with Kirkpatrick, they attended Yale together.” He scoots around in his chair to face me. “On the other hand, your Ace in the hole was me,” he says with a cheeky grin. “Long before the decision was made, I’d already conducted a little research into their background to look for leverage just in case we needed it.” When I close my eyes and shake my head, he adds, “Oh, you preferred that I hadn’t interfered? When we return to New York, you can always turn it down and hand it to Simon if it will make you feel any better.”
I roll my eyes letting him know hell would freeze over first. If Simon’s only advantage was his father’s connection, why shouldn’t I use Sebastian’s?
“Yeah, I didn’t think so,” he smirks.
I rubbed my brow in my frustration. “It’s just sucks to know I wasn’t the best.”
“Uhm, I believe I just told you that you and Simon were tied for the number one spot. The deciding factor was his father’s connection. I merely tipped the scales back into your favor. You got yourself 95% of the way there, I merely provided the last five. Are you going to begrudge me that?”
I look at him perplexed.
“You’ve no idea how much it meant to me to be able to help you get that spot. I’m going to be your husband, Mads. Is it such a horrible thing that I want to help make your dreams come true? I’d do anything to make you happy.”
The look of pure adoration in his eyes is breathtaking. I could forgive him anything when he gives me that pleading, puppy dog look.
“Your victories are my victories, just as mine are yours,” he says taking my hand in his. “You’ve helped me during some of my most critical hours and now I’ve helped you. We’re a team, that’s what we do.”
I let him lace his fingers through mine. And a thought occurs to me. “What information did you find to swing the vote?”
He shakes a few strands of hair from his eyes and replies, “Dr. O’Brian from likes his conquest barely legal. So, I had one pay him a visit—”
“Bash!” I say horrified at the thought of him sending an underage girl to entrap a man.
“Relax, it’s not what you think. Janine is twenty-four but could easily pass for fifteen. But when I sent O’Brian the pics, he didn’t know Janine was of legal age and therefore, he hadn’t committed any crimes. I only made him think he did. To buy my silence, he voted for you.”
I groan. “So now that pig thinks I’m willing to overlook his alleged crime just to land the residency?”
He chuckles. “No, because after they finalized the selections. I sent him a photo of Janine’s driver’s license, so he’d know she was fully legal and that he’d switched his vote for nothing. Serves the pig right.”
Despite myself, I find myself smiling. “That was pretty ingenious of you.”
