AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Jason nods and slows himself down. He walks over to the nearest greenway off one of the piers and starts stretching. I know he’s a good guy, but I don’t doubt he loves the looks thrown his way from those passing by. The other night when we were in line at this new noodle restaurant, someone asked if he was a K-pop idol.
I’m used to getting a lot of attention in Korea. Chaebol families are famous in their own way, and the public wants to know where we eat and shop, the events we attend and who we’re with. Here in New York, stripped free of that identity, I’m just like everyone else.
“If we want to make it to work on time, we should probably head back. I need a shower and I traded bathroom times with Roy,” I say. I track a seagull sneaking its way closer to a baby holding a half-eaten bagel. The baby’s mom is busily chatting away on her phone. But the dog-brother, a French bulldog in a studded harness, has its eyes glued to the bird. This should make for one helluva fight.
“Or we could just keep going this way and shower in the office gym,” Jason says. “I’ve heard it’s fully stocked with Laneige body and skincare products. I’ve been meaning to check it out in there.”
I give him a knowing look accompanied by a huff. There’s no way we’re doing that. We’re mere interns. And though no one’s told us we can’t use the office gym, it’s only the hotshots in the company who do so. Men wearing the latest in high-tech workout gear who then change into bespoke handmade suits. I wouldn’t be surprised if those assholes kicked us out for trying to breathe the same air as them.
In Korea, I’m one of those assholes.
I shake my head. “I don’t know about you, but I’m not that into being treated like dirt and made the fool. I’d much rather wait my turn in our one shared bathroom.”
“Sometimes I worry that you’re too hung up on status, and more specifically, not having it. You need more confidence, man. You work at Haneul. You have the same employee perks as everyone else. Nobody is looking down on you.” He claps me on the back. Nice pep talk.
I hate to be the one to break it to Jason that they are, indeed, looking down on us. I know because I looked down on people who I didn’t think “belonged” somewhere in the past.
“Come on. We’ve both seen how we’re basically disregarded there. Have you even made it past the bottom floor of the company?” I ask him.
He shakes his head and shrugs. “Maybe you’re right. But if that’s the case, it totally sucks. I honestly don’t understand how that shit still happens in this day and age. We always use the excuse that Haneul is a Korean company, as if that’s a reason to not ever change. To keep these outdated ways of approaching corporate society. Misogyny, classism, racism, harassment...you know that’s all considered illegal in the workplace at most companies? At least, it’s supposed to be,” he says.
“It totally sucks,” I reply. “But what I wonder is why anyone stays.”
He peers at me as if trying to see straight through to my brain, and I can’t figure out his expression. “Look, I know you’re pretty private—it’s cool that you keep your life outside of work really close to the chest. But, it’s obvious you’re kinda sheltered in Korea. In the States, we’re raised to think that work isn’t easy to come by. And a lot of people feel scared to ever be out of work. A bad job is better than no job. And Haneul, despite being awful internally, has a strong reputation in the industry. Or at least it did. If the company doesn’t step up and try to advance the work they do though, it’ll be a relic in no time flat.”
I nod at everything Jason’s saying. Because he’s right.
Everything I’ve learned this summer has driven home what I already knew. That the path laid out for me isn’t a future I care about. Becoming the CEO of Haneul Corp is not what I want to do. I didn’t want it when it was a legacy expectation set on me. And I don’t want it even more now that I’ve seen the shitty company culture. I’m not a corporate messiah. Even if Iwantedthe responsibility, I can’t work miracles.
Still, if there’s one thing I do want, it’s to make sure Jessica gets enough credit for everything she’s done this summer to be set up for her future, whether at Haneul or hopefully somewhere even better.
Jessica.
The number of times I’ve thought about our kiss. How her touch brought me back from the brink of hopelessness and the pit of frustration after talking to my dad. That night was one of the few times I really wished I lived alone in that brownstone. Having nine roommates, including one actual bunk mate, doesn’t allow for a guy to be able to take care of his needs while thinking about a certain spunky girl with the softest fucking lips ever.
Jason and I start heading back toward our apartment and the morning air is just crisp enough to cool me down from my thoughts. In a few hours, the July heat will be stifling and the humidity unbearable.
“Hey, so I wanted to ask you something,” he says. We’re walking side by side, me trying to keep up with Jason’s long, confident strides. He’s looking straight ahead, avoiding eye contact.
I tense, waiting for it. Because I’m pretty sure I know what he’s about to ask, and I don’t want to even think about it.
“About Jessica...” he starts.
Fuck, I hate being right.
I stop walking. “What about her?”
Jason’s already a few steps ahead before he notices I’m not at his side. He turns to look at me, hesitates, but then backtracks to where I’m standing. “Well, I know that you two had one of those made-for-TV-movies starts with her giving you her number in the elevator on our first day. And I’ve noticed you seem to have gotten close. Is there, you know, something going on between you guys?”
I could answer “yes” and let that be the end of it. With one word, I’d be telling my friend to back off. I’d stake my claim, own up to my feelings. I’d rid myself of the jealous beast that emerges every time I see them talking to each other. Jason’s a good guy. He’d step down if he thought Jessica and I already had something going.
And we kinda do havesomething, don’t we? I mean, our kiss the other night should be proof of that. My tongue slides over my bottom lip as if I can still taste her there.
But a voice of reason, one that sounds suspiciously like my father’s, drowns out every other thought. My dad will never accept Jessica. And I can rebel against his wishes in a lot of facets of my life, but this wouldn’t just be about me. He can make shit really difficult for the person who I choose to love. And I don’t want that for Jessica. I’ve known this all along. We’re in an impossible situation and I have to stop it before anything else happens, before it gets too hard to walk away. Even if I fucking hate the idea of not being with her.
“No,” I say, forcing out the word. “Nothing is going on between us.” The words feel like knives scraping deeply along my throat. The lie is so very wrong, but this is what has to be my truth.
“Really? Huh, that’s surprising. Well, you’re definitely closer to her than I am, so...could you do me a favor?”
