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The waitress smiled, obviously ignoring the tension between them. “Great, I’ll get that for you.”
Miles set down the menu, drummed his fingers against it and looked out the window again.
“Who are you looking for, Miles?”
“Things are not okay,” he said. He turned and looked at her, and for the first time, she could see the fear in his eyes. “I started working for a man. A bad man. I didn’t realize how bad until I tried to stop. When I did, he threatened to…” Miles looked away, then down at the table. “He threatened you.”
“That’s why you left.”
He nodded. “That’s why I left.”
Saundra opened her mouth, but the waitress was back with the coffee and his pie. She wanted to ask him more, but didn’t know what exactly she wanted to know.
She watched him prep his coffee and stir it around. He took a bite of the pie, but the motion seemed entirely mechanical, no joy or hunger in it at all.
“Why?” Out of everything she could’ve asked, that was what she needed to know the most. “Why did you start working for him, Miles? This was after my father offered you a job, right? Why didn’t you just take the damn job!”
“Hardly matters now,” he said around a mouthful of pie.
“I think now is when it matters the most. Look at us, Miles. We’re meeting in some clandestine diner outside of town? I haven’t seen you in days. I think right now is exactly when it matters.”
He sighed and set down the fork as he chewed the bite of pie and took a sip of his coffee. Folding his arms to rest his elbows on the table, he avoided eye-contact as he said, “There’s really no point in defending anything I’ve done. I was ashamed. I was ashamed that I couldn’t hold a job, that I couldn’t do anything right. When I found out about the kid and the child support, I… I lost it. I was convinced I was going to lose you. It was the straw to break your back, as it were.”
He rubbed his face with a hand, as though he could wipe away the shame, but it was still on his face, clear as anything. It made her want to hold him and make the world fall away.
“To top it off, I knew I couldn’t get a job otherwise. Your dad’s offer was nice. I’ve had time to think about how I reacted, and I’m sorry. Tell him I’m sorry, okay? I get what he was doing, but at the time, I was just so lost in my despair. I was furious that I needed his help, which made me want to refuse it on principle. If I was going to be worthy of you, worthy to myself, I needed to get this fixed myself. So, I started working for a guy that promised me a lot of money.”
Saundra reached across the table and took his hand. “Come home, Miles. Whatever happens, we’ll figure it out together. I’m not mad, I just want you home. Please.”
He looked at her hand and gave it a squeeze. She could feel his fingers shaking in her grip.
“I can’t. It’s too dangerous. We can’t be together. It’s too big of a risk.”
“What are you going to do? You can’t live the rest of your life like this.”
“What else can I do?”
She looked at him, and when he raised his eyes to meet hers, she held his gaze. “We come at him sideways.”
Miles’ heart hammered in his chest more fiercely than it had ever beat before. It was a struggle to keep his breathing slow and steady, and to sit in the passenger seat of that car and pretend like nothing was going on. He was having such second thoughts about this whole thing, but he was committed. He couldn’t back out now.
“So where are we going tonight?” he asked as casually as he could manage.
“You’ll see.”
“What’s the job?”
“You seem out of sorts,” Boss said, glancing over to him. “Feeling all right?”
“Yep, I just want to know what to expect.”
“I’ve always appreciated that about you. You’re a man that likes to prepare. That’ll do well for you in the future. Keep your head on straight, and you’ll go far in this business.”
Miles gave a sardonic laugh. “The business of beating people up for money?”
“What?” Boss asked, laughing. “Of course not. I’m talking about business. Really, this kind of mentality can be applied to any business venture. Not just what we’re doing.”
Damnit! Miles needed to get him to specifically say what they were doing, but he couldn’t think of how to get Boss talking without making it obvious that’s what he wanted.
