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I stare at Stassi’s place, and then at my own. I guess it’s going to be the same way it’s been, the past two nights without her—me, getting drunk on the balcony, waiting for her to come by and bless me the way she did the other night.
It’s almost too much to take.
So I reach into the center console, grab a pad and pen, and scribble a note.
Maybe the only way we can communicate right now is through some hot, dirty sex. And if that’s all she’s willing to give me right now, that’s fine by me.
21
Stassi
Cold eggplant pizza isn’t doing it for me tonight.
The thing was, it needed to be. There’s nothing in the fridge, and I don’t have the money for takeout. My part of the rent is due next week and tips have been terrible this winter.
I don’t even have enough money for myself.
I have the television on, but I’m not watching it. I keep looking at the walls, wondering how long I’ll be able to call them mine.
I can’t go back home.
My parents might be the most wonderful people on Earth, but I’ve made them worry enough.
I can’t call Aidan or Cooper, because they’ll start asking questions and answering them will only make this whole thing worse.
I’m alone.
Completely alone.
As I’m sitting on the sofa in the darkness, a key jingles in the lock. A second later, Mad walks in. Joe trails behind her like a tail, already on her ass, groping her boobs from behind. They’re not expecting me, because I always have the dinner shift at Ted’s. I guess they were looking forward to another loud screw-fest, one that I’ve clearly disrupted, from the way they stop and stare at me in shock.
“Oh,” Mad says, gauging the situation. “I didn’t know you were home … why are all the lights off?”
She trails off. She’s no idiot. She can see something’s up.
“Who’s that,” Joe mumbles, between attempts of trying to swallow Mad whole. He’s all-right looking, a little too used-car salesman for me, and his face is always pinched. And yes, he has a bit of a large chin. Not that I can see it, because it’s lost in her mussed up hair.
Mad swats him off. “Duh, it’s Stassi. My roommate.”
He gazes at me as if seeing me for the first time. Okay, so it’s probably the fourth time he’s actually seen me. Most of the time, I catch him half-asleep and naked in the dark upstairs hallway, heading to the bathroom to shed a condom. I think I know his skinny white ass better than his face.
“Oh, hey,” he says.
Mad starts reversing direction and shoving him towards the door.
“Sorry. Change of plans. I need some roomie time,” she says, reaching behind him and opening the door. She shoves him out. “Call me later, okay?”
“But—” I hear him say from the front stoop before she slams the door on him.
She approaches the couch and stoops in front of me to get a better look. “Aw, babe, is everything okay?”
I shake my head. I can’t even find words.
There are no words.
No words that can ever explain what a deep pile of shit I’m in.
“Did Ted fire you?” she asks.
If only that was the problem.
I’d be ecstatic if that was all I had to worry about.
“If he did, good! I can get you an admin job at my place. They need someone to type in new listings. You’d like it. And you’d fit right in. And we could carpool together and—”
She stops when she sees me shaking my head.
“Okay. Then what?” she asks.
I reach into my purse. It’s still on my shoulder. I look exactly the way I had, three hours ago, when I came in from my doctor’s appointment in downtown Portland, and collapsed in a heap of What the hell am I going to do?
Then I pull out the prescription and hand it to her.
She reads, and her eyes widen.
“Does this say prenatal vitamins?” She squints at it, as if she’s expecting the words to change. “Stassi, why … are you—”
I can’t hear the word, so I blurt, “I went to the OB/GYN for my yearly and to refill my birth control. And she gave me those.”
She sits next to me. “Something happened though, at the appointment. They don’t just give you prenatal vitamins for the hell of it. Did they do a pregnancy test?”
I nod and my lips quiver. “It came back positive.”
She gasps, clapping a hand over her open mouth.
“Who …” she begins, but she already knows the answer. It’s not like I have a line of potential suitors at the door every night. Her eyes go to the side, toward Alec’s apartment. “How?”
“The condom must have broken? I don’t know!”
“But you’re on the pill. Aren’t you?”
I nod vigorously, hoping that means it’s all just a crazy mistake.
