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“Or maybe he wanted to get me back for ignoring him?” I say. “Alec was the most popular guy in school. He didn’t need to care about what anyone thought of him because everyone loved him.”
“Kind of seems like he’s not that person anymore though. A true bully wouldn’t do half the things he’s done for you.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. I’m just trying not to give him the opportunity to disappoint me again. I might be having his baby, but I’m not going to fall victim to his stupid mind games again. I think he’s finally understanding that. He didn’t even try to make a move last night. I thought for sure with the candles and the music and everything …”
“Sounds like he’s just trying to be respectful.”
I snort. “You literally never know with him.”
“I think you are entirely too suspicious,” Mad says. “And I get it. You guys have a past. But I also think you’re cutting your nose to spite your face here. You’re holding onto the past and he’s looking towards the future and you two are having a baby together. At some point, you have to meet in the middle. Or at least figure out how to move forward.”
“I’m too tired to finish this conversation,” I say as I trudge to the stairs. “I’m going to bed.”
“Sweet dreams, mama.”
It’s not just that I’m beat. I wish it was.
Crawling under my covers, I think of Mason.
When we first started dating, I thought for sure he was my ticket to the life I’d never had in Maine. That living in our cute little Lower East Side apartment, I’d have a fresh start and finally shed the weight of my past. He was solid, dependable, easy, not one for surprises—or so I thought. I was certain I knew everything about him, that we shared our lives equally, sans secrets. In my mind, he was guy who was going to prove to me what forever looked like.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Odds are Alec isn’t going to be that guy to prove it to me, either.
And yet, now, I’ve gone and tied myself to him—forever.
I wish things were simpler. That he was just a schoolyard bully crushing on a girl. But he always took it too far. And the more I ignored him, the worse he got. Now I’m supposed to sweep it all under the rug?
All I wanted was closure—and maybe a half-decent apology.
Now I’m having his baby.
But Mad’s right … at some point I have to stop living in the past.
As tired as I am, I grab my phone and type in a text.
Me: Thanks for dinner last night. Your risotto might get me through today.
I don’t expect a response right away since he’s probably at work, but a few moments later, my phone chimes.
Alec: No problem. Is today a bad day?
I think for a moment before responding.
Me: I was engaged to a man a while ago, and today would’ve been our first wedding anniversary. But he cheated on me before the wedding, so I called it off.
Alec: That sucks. Wait ... your anniversary was going to be April Fool’s Day?
I sigh.
There are a thousand jokes one could tell about the date.
I decide on the most obvious.
Stassi: Yep. It was the only date available at his church. Guess the joke was on me the whole time.
Over a year after my break-up with Mason, I’m nowhere near where I thought I’d be. Back then, I expected our first anniversary would be spent in Maui, reliving our honeymoon. I’d expected to be the envy of my friends, a thriving power couple who lived a glamorous life of parties in NYC interspersed with exotic vacations in little-known locales around the world.
I never thought I’d be spending it like this—living in this slummy condo a stone’s throw from where I grew up having all those big dreams. Pregnant with Alec Mansfield’s baby. Working at Ted’s. Alone.
Talk about one plot twist after another.
It seems like the more I wish for stability, the less stable my life becomes. Makes me wonder if I should start hoping for the worst? Whoever’s running my life, pulling the gears and levers behind the curtain, could maybe use a little reverse psychology? Sinking into my bed, I draw in a deep breath and exhale, telling myself nothing’s going to work out and everything’s going to go to hell in a handbasket.
As I’m dozing off again, my phone buzzes with a text.
Alec: If you ask me, he’s the fool.
Warmth pumps in my chest, and a smile threatens to crack on my face.
But then I promptly remember what day it is and what a fool I’ve always been.
At some point, I’ve got to stop taking the bait.
27
Alec
As I pull down a narrow alley in downtown Portland, I’m suspicious.
This looks like a place where drug deals go down.
