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“If Dad ever finds out, you’ll be lucky if all he does is send you away,” Ryder whispers. “But more likely, after what happened with those people, he might put a bullet in your fucking head. I can’t deal with you two.”
With those words, he storms out of the cabin. My heart thunders in my chest, making me lightheaded and dizzy. I ache to go after him but don’t want to fight about it either.
He’s right.
If our parents knew, they’d banish me. I’m already at my wits’ end feeling alone, but sending me away would be the final nail in my coffin.
Raegan rushes over to me and throws her arms around me. I stand frozen like a tall pine, unsure what to do or what to say. She rubs her arms up and down over my bare back in an attempt to comfort me, but it doesn’t work.
“He’s right,” I choke out. “We can’t.”
She pulls back and shakes her head. “He’s just mad. He’ll come around. You’ll see. We can be more careful.”
Grabbing her shoulders, I push her away from me. “No, Rae. We can’t. You’re my sister, for fuck’s sake. I’m gay. None of this makes any goddamn sense.”
Her lip wobbles wildly before she bursts into tears. She smacks me with her fist against my chest. “It makes sense to me, you prick.”
Even though my heart is yelling at me to pull her to me, to soothe away the pain I’ve caused, I can’t. I’m unable to comfort her or make her feel better in any way.
“I’m destroying our family,” I rasp out, hating how the tears well in my eyes. “I started this, which means I can fix this.”
She sniffles and crosses her arms over her chest. “By shutting me out?”
Yes.
“We just need space. I’m sorry.”
Her middle finger whips out, inches from my nose. “Fuck. You. I hate you, Ronan. I hate you so damn much right now.”
I don’t get to reply, not that I even have the words to, because she’s already out the door. Alone, in nothing but my cum-soaked underwear, I stand, shaking uncontrollably.
What have I done?
I didn’t fix it.
I made it worse.
My chest feels hollow. Like my heart cracked down the middle. Ryder took off with one half to probably throw in the river. Raegan took off with the other, no doubt stomping it with her boot. The two people I love and adore the most in this world are the ones I’ve hurt the most.
I’m an asshole.
I wake later to the smell of venison. Sitting up, I find Kristen sitting on the bed with a plate of food in her lap, frowning down at me.
“You’re sleeping again?” she asks, eyes narrowing.
Groaning, I take the plate she’s clearly brought for me and start eating, hoping to get away with not answering.
“I’m worried,” she says with a sigh. “Logan really messed you up.”
Bile creeps up my throat and my stomach turns at the thought of eating the food she’s brought to me. Something about his name just makes me sick.
“Let’s not,” I grunt.
“What? Talk about that psycho rapist?”
I shoot her a warning glare. “They don’t know all the shit he’s done. I’d rather keep it that way.”
“Oh, Ronan. You have a family who loves you. They, of all people, are the ones you talk to.” She sniffles and looks away. “When Atticus goes back to town, I’m going with him.”
