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I tense at her words. “What? Why?”
“Because I don’t belong here. I didn’t choose this life like your family did. My family is still out there in civilization.” Her voice cracks and she trembles. “My mom probably thinks I’m dead.”
All this time, I never considered Kristen was missing the family she left behind. I feel like an even bigger asshole than before.
“I think going back to town is a good idea then,” I agree with a small smile. “You seen Raegan or Ryder?”
She sits up straight and studies my face for a beat. “Raegan’s been in a bitchy mood. She and your mom sort of got into it at dinner, hence why I’m here with you rather than out there.”
Guilt strangles me.
This is all my fault.
“And Ryder?”
“He said he was going hunting. Took his dog and bailed. Your dad seemed worried about him but let him go.” Her head tilts to the side. “Why? Did you two have a fight?”
I’m not exactly eager to admit that they’re both pissed at me because I’m selfish and closed off. That I’m a confusing jumble of mixed messages and contradicting statements.
“A little bit,” I admit. “Nothing we can’t get over.”
That’s a lie.
I’ve fractured this family in ways that’ll never be repaired.
“You need to eat and leave this cabin,” Kristen says finally. “All this sleeping isn’t good for you. I know your parents are worried and they’re trying to give you space, but I don’t think it’s doing you any good.”
I need all the space.
Just me and my deserved loneliness.
“Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel better.” I give her a one-shoulder shrug. “How are you doing? I’ve been a dick and should’ve checked on you days ago.”
“I feel good. Happy.” A smile tugs at her lips. “I’m looking forward to stupid things again like driving a car, going to the movies, chatting with my mom while she makes dinner. I still can’t believe I’m going home.”
“I’m happy for you,” I say, squeezing her knee over her jeans. “You deserve to be happy.”
She sits up and leans over to kiss my forehead. “So do you, Ronan. It’ll be hard, but you’re going to have to move past Logan’s abuse. Otherwise, he’ll keep you trapped in his prison of the past. He’ll win. Don’t let that bastard win.”
“I’ll try.”
“That’s all we can do. A little each day.”
She leaves me to my thoughts and quickly cooling dinner. I don’t want Logan to keep me in his wicked clutches. I’m free of him physically and I’d give anything to be free of him mentally.
I’ll try.
That’s all we can do. A little each day.
Easier said than done.
Appalled. Furious. So fucking hurt.
My feelings are all over the place. I can’t decide if I want to punch someone or curl into a ball to cry my eyes out. All of this is so damn unfair.
Why did I have to start having feelings for Raegan in the first place?
It was much better when she hated me—when we had typical sibling rivalry. My stupid dick got hard and changed everything.
